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Dealing with the past....

I see the "new" Governor of NY decided to put his salacious scandal out IN FRONT OF HIM. I like the attitude personally. No one's shit is perfect. I told you before (those of you who know me personally) that all that fairy tale bullshit is for the books. Things happen. Good people screw up VERY BADLY sometimes. It is what makes us humans. We all know better but our emotions get in the way sometimes, people get neglectful and boom. There it is. I am not so sure why we are all so shocked by all of these revelations. I am not. It doesn't taint their union anymore than it would taint someones union where one spouse was hoarding money, being abusive, or any of the array of things that could (and probably will go) wrong during the course of a life together with someone. Good for them for not allowing someone to "break" the story.

Let's speak on the "past" a bit. I think that some of you are a lil confused as to what dealing with the past entails. Some of you have a "story book" ideal on how it gets dealt with. Let me break it down for you......

Anytime that you have done something to someone that has hurt them to the core, you can count on a couple of things:

They are not going to be happy.
The level of "respect and trust" will change. (More on this later)
What you used to get away with will no longer fly if you plan on still being with them.
They will try to hurt you in some capacity.

All of these things are HUMAN TRAITS PEOPLE. Now, there are some people out there who are the EXCEPTION but by and large, the rest of us are going to act on all the things I just touched on.

They are not going to be happy. This sounds so simplistic that I shouldn't have to go into it. But some of you just don't get it. You DID THEM WRONG. They are not supposed to like what you did. And no, you don't get to dictate how long they get to be angry about it either. Just because you thought that it wouldn't hurt them that bad because of the way that they were acting towards you (which is why you may have done what you did) DOES NOT MATTER. Get that out of your head. You were wrong. Accept it. Man up and deal with the bed you have made. You are going to get cussed out. You are going to have to deal with some form of the truth either with what you did, how you hurt the person or what they may have been doing while you were hurting them.

The level of trust and respect will change. Again simplistic. But some of you can't figure out for the life of you why you can't go to the Waffle House at 3 am anymore by yourself. Well let me clue you in. THAT'S WHERE YOU WERE MEETING THE PERSON YOU WERE SCREWING. Hello!! Someone is supposed to trust you again on that shit? Really? Some of you can't figure out why your spouse/SO is asking to see your pay stub every two weeks. Well seeing as though you keep STOPPING AT MACY'S OR BEST BUY every Friday and blowing bill money, they have to do so. Some of you can't figure out why the other person doesn't consult you about important things anymore and just does them on their own. When you flip them off every time a discussion that doesn't involve Dancing With the Stars, Brittney Spears, or the Houston Rockets, how many more times are they supposed to come at you? Once someone finds out your MO on the way you were doing wrong, you DESERVE to have to earn that once blind trust back. You don't just get it back with some crocodile tears, a couple of romantic dinners and a few weeks of good behavior. Some of you know this though 'cause if you caught someone on the foul, you MIGHT NOT EVEN GIVE THEM A SECOND CHANCE. Which is sad. I wonder how many of your SO's really know that about you?

I don't have to address the third one too tough 'cause I pretty much laid it out. The rules change, as they should, once you are found out. Sorry. That's the way the cookie crumbles. Shoulda thought about that before.

Now the last one is tricky. Everyone has limits. Sometimes though, certain people are not pushed to their limits too often so there is a belief that they would "never" do certain things. Take that outta your mind. That is NOT TRUE. Take it from someone who is perceived to be one of the nicest people that any of their friends knew. Once they found out how I got down when I was upset, all that changed. But it took them years to see that. Most times, you will NEVER see it in this person. Do yourself a favor. Never lose sight of the fact that it does exist in them. For you own good and safety. I don't care how non threatening they seem. I don't care how much "self esteem" they have. How high classed. In the name of revenge, people will go far below their standards. I have had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing that in someone else too. Bottom line, once a person is fed up or hurt or whatever, NOTHING IS OUT OF THE QUESTION. Hiding money, fucking your friends, disrespecting you, disrespecting themselves to spite you, leaving you high and dry, all the way down to hurting those that you both mutually may love (whether on purpose or not). Once a person has been hurt like that or suspects that there is something that can hurt them like that taking place, all bets are off. Not only do you have to be prepared for that but you have to UNDERSTAND where all of that is coming from and put it into perspective. Be prepared to hear the justification for the act via the hurt that you caused. You may see people acting "outta character" in the name of hurting someone who has hurt them.

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I suck at doing this everyday..My apologies ya'll

The last couple of days have been a lil hectic so I haven't been able to get on here like that. They are putting Fios (sp) in our neighborhood though so hopefully, that will help things. I have trouble even getting on the Net. lol

Anyhow, the lil bit of time that I was able to log on, I have been seeing a lot of posts, articles and such on cheating. I have been quite intrigued by the comments that I have seen in regards to the events. I have also been quite amused by Geraldine's comments on Barrack. So I guess I have a ton of stuff to get into huh? The cheating thing will probably be a recurring theme as it is always a topic on the message boards that I frequent. I will be speaking on it and relationships OFTEN on here.* Usually, I will swipe a particular topic from a place and elaborate on it. Occasionally I will speak on sports and sometimes on some random things.



**I think I am going to start by talking about people being human and just how "accepting" people are of this. Much like that gal from the Real World (Kameelah) people have a compiled this list of stuff that is just "unacceptable" for them to have to put up with from another person. Mind you, about 50% of the list is compiled of things that they do themselves! With reckless pride too might I add. So I am not sure that many people are even starting out with the right attitude. Sure we all would like to find that perfect person. But any idiot who has been outside of their house knows that people aren't perfect. I think the list thing (and those that are still holding fast to their list) is the silliest thing. It is no wonder these people can't find anyone to stick around. The sooner people realize.....You know what? Fuck all that. I am going to stop being "diplomatic" about this one. Look, your ass is fucked up seven ways to Sunday so how in THE WORLD DO YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY to fall through expecting perfection? Yes you! I am talking to you and your funky ass. You with the gut hanging over demanding that every girl you mess with should look like your favorite video model/actress/girl in the media. You with the elephant arms demanding that your man needs to look like Tyson Beckford or whom ever it is you admire. You who will hollar at anything that moves while in a relationship but doesn't want anyone who has done a third of the grimy things that you have done. You that doesn't want a dude with kids yet you are three abortions short of having a third of a basketball team yourself. I am talking to you. You who got the "clap" or crabs yourself several times giving the rounds of applause when someone talks about any of the millions of people out here who have had the unfortunate experience of having an STD. You who secretly keeps male friends to get that attention you think you deserve thinking that the dudes don't know that is why you keep them around and then you wonder why people are suspect when you come around. Yes you! The person who flirts shamelessly with married people yet can't figure out why married people are always "coming at you" 'cause flirting isn't a bad thing. Yes you Miss Independent. The one that doesn't "need" a man but wants one to follow her around so she can dismiss him whenever she doesn't "need" him and expects him to still bend over backwards at a moments notice. Ole mind reading wanting ass. Yes you Mr. She Needs To Keep Her Ass In the Kitchen. The dude that can't stand that Miss Independent has her own money, her own mind and that you might actually have to listen to her like (gasp) your father had to listen to your mother anyway. (Which is what really happened. Let's be real. A great woman knows how to make a man feel like a man and still have a WHOLE LOT OF INPUT IN THE DECISIONS THAT ARE MADE. Ask somebody if you don't know..) Man, I could go on for days (I will don't worry. One day I will cover some shit YOU DID.) So miss me with the list people. You are human. You do shit. Daily. You can want what you want but you are living in fantasy land if you think that you keep up the shit you are doing and you are alone. You are not.

Well shit, I guess that means no one can be with each other huh? No, Mr./Mrs. Cynic. That's not what I am saying. What I am saying is that if you want to be with another "human" expect "human" things. You do know that humans error right? You need to leave room for that. Especially if you aren't TRULY bringing all you need to be bringing to the table too. Some of you are so stuck on yourself that you REALLY THINK THAT YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK. It is pathetic. I watch people put things up everyday about their foul ass attitudes, foul ass ways, and such and REALLY WONDER WHY THEY CAN'T KEEP SOMEONE AROUND. Did you not get the memo?





I am sorry, am I supposed to feel bad for Geraldine? I am fresh out of sympathy for her seeing as though she has a history of making these sort of comments in the past.




The Governor of New York has dragged some people into his mess that I feel a little sympathy for though. His kids, his wife and the call girl. What was he thinking? (c) Willie from College Hill Virgin Islands. Using the governments tab to do his dirty work? C'mon fam. Do better. Why he drug her up there to be embarrassed with him on the podium is beyond me. The call girl? My sympathy stems not from the fact that she was poor or whatever but more from the standpoint that she is doing what MILLIONS OF GIRLS are doing and she is getting ready to be "spokesperson" for it. The media is bullshit for publishing her myspace page and whatnot. Showing up outside her door to try to speak to her. For what? Her speaking out is going to do what? Make us understand? Yeah okay......

Anyway, that is it for today's "Tear you a new asshole" rant. lol.

I see the Suns are finally getting it together. @ win over Golden State. That is important 'cause they play small ball even better than Phoenix did before the trade for Shaq.

I can't believe that the kid that plays down the street at the Bob is actually being talked about as an NFL QB. I mean, Flacco is no scrub but I just don't see it. Then again, I have been wrong before. So have those damm scouts though..lol***


I am going to pick one thing (a hard thing for me to do 'cause I love to talk about any and everything.) and try to stick to it.

And as soon as I learn how to make this open to "comments" I will. Bare with me...



*Updated 7/13/12 You can find those topics under Grown Folks Talk...

**I consider this post to be the first 'true Grown Folks Talk' post although I didn't originally tag it as that.

*** He starts. I was wrong. Still not what they 'said' he was gonna be though. You see how he plays against us right? @ the Steelers
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(Words) First post X Get A Blog!!!

Well, I got one! Well hell, what to do now?

Yesterday, I had to face the news that my Brother's Mother passed. We were actually very cool. I am saddened for my brother but I am glad that she did not have to suffer. The real issue that I am worried about is our father. It is my understanding that the strain that existed between the two of them was resolved before her passing. That gave me hope that one day, I may be able to do the same for some of the people that I dislike. Now I have to see about getting down that way to see about him.

Today, I did something that I have been working on for a long time. Actually two things. I started this blog. That was important because I didn't know where I was going to host the blog or even how to go about it. I just kinda stumbled upon it. I feel a certain amount of pressure now though so it may take a minute before I make this blog known. I want to get used to actually just blogging and that is it. Not trying to force the entries. Or write what I think people want to hear. Just write it and leave it alone. which is hard for me to do because I am a perfectionist to a point. I don't like being unclear and I have a mind that runs a mile a minute. Speaking of which, the second thing I did was finally express how I was feeling about an incident(s) on a website. It won't rehash it but I felt I needed to go ahead and let how I was feeling.

I wonder just how open I will be here.




Updated (2/19/2010)


Well...looking back on this post and seeing where the blog is now is quite interesting. It has taken shape. People do come and visit. I have gotten a little personal but not too personal. Spoke on things that bothered me. Spoken on some things even before they made the 'news'. Even got 'swiped' on more than 5 occasions. (That means, someone from a major news publication/blog came in an 'took my content' and used it in their pieces. No, I won't say who. You figure it out.) So yes, things are coming along quite nicely. Why am I updating a back post? 'Cause I want to use it as a bio of sorts. Rather than clutter up the main page with this LENGTHY diatribe I am about to unleash, I will just link people to this post. Why? 'Cause I can! It is my blog. Enjoy it.





Updated 7/13/12



Go to the About Me page.... Definitely informative....
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