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Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

(Words) "I'm just tired....."





I was watching the Dr. J documentary tonight, GREAT DOCUMENTARY BY THE WAY, and he was speaking on his brother's death....


He got to the hospital just in time to hear him utter those words...


I almost had to cut the TV off. I made it through the first showing of the documentary okay though 'cause I REALLY WANTED TO SEE IT. 

The second showing though.....


As soon as he said it, I had to turn it off. (Luckily, I recorded it...)


Now as a child, I had 'heard' about folks saying that. I even remember my Nan Momma standing up in church, telling her Pastor that it would be her last Sunday in church.....


"I'm tired and I feel like the Lord is ready to take me to be with my husband...I'm ready. So I'd like to thank y'all and tell you that I love you.."- My Nan Mama to her congregation. 

Those three words are something that I got used to 'hearing' over the last 14 years. At FIRST, I thought it was physical fatigue as the person uttering those words worked 2 jobs, PLAYED JUST AS HARD AS SHE WORKED and had a child/raised another one with me. I found out pretty quickly that it wasn't that. 

She was essentially telling me that she was ready to ..... She was prepping for the day that she could no longer......

The look on Julius's face as he recounted the story of his brother....the realization, even after ALL OF THESE YEARS.....that he was being told that. To have to come to grips with that as it BECAME REALITY... I felt his pain. I remember the day that I realized not only what she was saying but that she was serious about this. 

I know that pain. 

I know I'm not alone in knowing that pain but we aren't talking about that now are we? We are here on MY BLOG so yeah.. we are probably gonna talk about how 'EYE' feel. 

That tiredness. No one can seem to understand it. 

I can.... 

...I can also understand how you can feel that way and how it feels to dig DEEP....DEEP....DEEP WITHIN YOURSELF to keep going. Long after ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE QUIT. Long after the 'I don't know how you are doing it..' type attitudes would have really permeated things. 

The 'tiredness' doesn't come when you think it normally would. Those 'big days'. Naw.. There is pain on those 'big days' but NOTHING LIKE THE DULLING PAIN THAT DAY TO DAY ACTIVITIES BRING. 

Nothing like the sting of not having THAT someone to talk to while the rain pours down on your house long after the kids have gone to sleep. Not that the conversations were marathon sessions either. Sometimes they were as brief as a head nod, a smile....a gentle brushing away of a wisp of unruly hair. A palm of the head. Or just the simple act of sitting next to that person in silence...enjoying the silence together. 

Not that folks don't 'fill voids' or provide some support. They do. It is just that when the person you have been used to having around when you'get tired' is no longer around........it is tough. You don't wanna lean too hard on anyone else 'cause what if they 'get tired too'? What if they don't 'understand' like they claim they do? Especially when you are mourning the loss of 'that' someone. You can't get 'mad' when they don't get it no more than they can't get mad at you when you can't 'make them get it'. 

This fight.... man this fight.....IT IS A TOUGH FIGHT. So many different angles. So many different things to worry about. 

Sometimes I take solace in knowing that there are other folks have had to sit by helpless to their loved ones plight. Their fate. Knowing it wasn't going to end well and that whatever the circumstances were....that they would have to live with the pain and suffering for the rest of their own natural lives.


I saw that pain that the Angel of Death can bring in Dr.J's eyes. 

It is the same pain I have in mine.... the same one that is in my children's eyes. Good times wash over our faces and they are truly good times. Temporarily covering the pain... 

They mask the 'I'm just tired' in our faces though. Sometimes, I have to put them (the kids) all on my 'back' figuratively and literally.I just don't know if I can trust anyone else enough....






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(Words) Reconciling, moving forward. Never forgetting....




I always assume that those who have passed on to the 'other side' have this sort of 'view finder' that allows them to either see the future, see the past or both. I am also a firm believer that those same folks probably get some sort of leeway in having a hand in things. That said, I know that if my now deceased wife has ANY SAY where she is at, the things that have transpired since her death, while not a DIRECT result of her, were influenced by whatever say she may have.

I'm going to be pretty vague, at least in my opinion, about the 'details' of some of those things. Others, I just won't flat out discuss. Either way, what I"m about to write is yet another chapter in my life after the death of my spouse. I know some of you have been praying every day and I thank you for that. Truly. We need it. Still need it. Still more trying days ahead. Every day is a hurdle and sometimes we graze the hurdle. Other times we run through it. There are days when we straight CLEAR THE HURDLE with perfect form. Those days are few and far between though. We are healing though.

I found a letter from her that she left with her wedding dress. Didn't find it until the other week. No, I'm not publishing the letter. What I can tell you is that it spelled out everything that I've been trying to tell folks from day one of this tragedy. I feel vindicated in a major way. That weight lifted off of my shoulders was huge. I mean, I WAS THERE but when you are one of the few that were and the MAIN PERSON is no longer here to give validity or credence to your version of the events, it is hard. Those who 'weren't there' have a hard time grasping. That note clears all of that up though. I read it to those who needed to see it. Children were addressed in it. They got their 'closure' in that sense. It was already closed for me in that sense so I am glad that they got that.

I have often been told by many that my children are going to need 'help' dealing with the situation. I'd like to take the time to reassure folks that I am DOING THAT. Not 'gonna' do. Not fixing to do. Doing. I would also like to point out that I KNOW THEY NEED IT. Melissa didn't get that. I'm of the belief that had she gotten it, she would still be here. I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT. It is WHAT HELPS ME GET MY KIDS HELP AS THEY FACE THE SAME MOTHERLESS LIFE THAT SHE HAD TO WALK THROUGH. I've seen the movie. I'm NOT trying to have my kids star in the trilogy. Nope. So yes, steps have been taken. Steps will CONTINUE TO BE TAKEN. I'm going to take a few of those 'steps' myself.

Her death, for those of you who don't know, happen IN OUR RESIDENCE. We've stayed in our home because well........IT IS OUR HOME. Nothing diminished that. It was a SOOTHING thing believe it or not for us. It took time for my kids to see that but they got that out of that. Anytime they wanted to say 'Hey Mommy', they could stand RIGHT WHERE SHE DREW HER LAST BREATH and say that. We are going to miss that. I thought I was going to feel like I was 'leaving her behind' when I walked out of that house with our belongings. I thought I was tearing down a foundation.

I wasn't. I was merely moving the foundation to a sturdier place. I've NEVER FELT MORE SURE ABOUT SOMETHING BEING THE RIGHT THING IN MY LIFE. I've also never felt so sure about HOW I WENT AND TOOK MY TIME AND MADE IT HAPPEN ON MY TIME PERIOD. Not on everyone else's. Not when my Momma thought I should do it. Not when my friends thought I should do it. Strangers. Counselors. Doctors.

When I wanted to. When I was ready. When I could reconcile with the decision and take her clothes and belongings that I didn't want everyone privy to and dispose of. When I could stand there in that spot where she took her breath, take the spiritual presence and 'carrying it to the new place' with me.

When I FELT LIKE I WASN'T LEAVING HER.

She is HERE. At this new place with me. I can FEEL HER. I can feel her putting people in my Life to take the place of the things she has done. I can feel her giving those folks the power and permission to do what she would have done for me. Make no mistake about it either. Folks have commended me for 'all I did for her' but she did PLENTY FOR ME. Things that you can't put a monetary value on. She has given those tasks to several people and I am accepting of those folks giving it to me. I'M STILL SINGLE btw. I HAVE TO SAY that 'cause folks get to 'wondering'.. When I'm not, you will be the 'second' to know. :) I have a LOT OF WONDERFUL FRIENDS that are helping me out though and believe or not, they are not all FEMALE and if they are, they aren't 'like that'. Yeesh. @ the speculation. lol (I'm smiling as I type this. That means YOU SHOULD BE SMILING TOO AS YOU READ IT. I'm not mad.. I hate that I have to type that out but tone is hard to convey when you AREN'T MAD in text so....Here we are..)


I prayed for signs that accepting help was okay and she answered EACH AND EVERY ONE with the cue I was looking for. Be specific when you pray people. That's all I can say. I should say God provided that by the way. I know that. I also know that right now HE KNOWS I am in a way that I have to see it coming from her in order to heal. I know he is ULTIMATELY behind all though. Trust me. That said, I have 'human' feelings that I have to reconcile with that make me struggle with accepting help. I"m working on! I'm also working to be even MORE EFFICIENT than I was before in my time and such. Again, if you don't have kids, you probably don't know how much time you truly waste..lol I have them and thought I was being pretty efficient and I was. I'm even MORE SO now though.

My Father is here with me too. He groomed me to be a man but he knew that the 'traditional sense of it' alone would NOT CUT IT. So he showed me who a 'man' acts and that it wasn't all about this macho bs that we are bombarded with. A man takes care of his children. He takes care of his HOUSE no matter WHAT HE HAS TO DO. If it is cleaning, he does that. If it is cooking, HE DOES THAT. He doesn't 'wait for his woman' to do it or 'do it out of spite to undermine his woman' in that way. He does it out of love and respect. He doesn't 'hold his woman back'. He lets her flourish. He also knows how to FLOURISH ON HIS OWN TOO. Never forgot that. This is was ALWAYS MY SHIP. She told me that and HE SHOWED ME HOW TO DRIVE IT SOLO IF I NEEDED TO DO SO. All I have to do is fall back on the teachings he gave me.

I have.

Today, I will continue to 'pass down' my Father's (and my Mother's..can't forget her. She helped me too but she is still here so maybe that's why I don't mention her as much.) teachings through one of my kids. He is my 'son'. Biologically? Naw. Spiritually and naturally though? Yes. I've raised him since he was 3 months old. My wife ADORED HIM. Used to love taking him EVERYWHERE WE WENT. He was like our accounting practice set for those of you who took accounting only he was LIVE AND IN THE FLESH. Some 18 years later, he is about to graduate. If you follow me on Instagram, you saw me post about his last game at St. Marks. I'm not here to judge his Dad so this is the ONLY MENTION I WILL MAKE OF HIM. I just knew that boy needed a Father. I knew my 'life lessons' wouldn't be wasted because I had someone I could pass them onto to. He has not disappointed me. He is a fine young man. Gonna make someone a nice addition to whatever family has him. Basketball family. Spiritual/friendship family. A FAMILY family.. if you know what I mean. Doesn't matter.  I'm not the only one thankfully who saw that he needed a Father so he has SEVERAL OF THOSE FIGURES IN HIS LIFE. I'm here to finish off that job for him. Home stretch for the kid and despite my situation, I'm STILL HERE FOR THAT BOY. Just like Melissa Jane would have wanted. Just like I WANT TO be.

You see, some of you go to the building they cal 'Church' (Feel free to insert the name of whatever your religion calls it here)  and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I have always done my work among the people. This is no exception. I just hope that I'm around long enough to see him, his first cousin by BLOOD who is my oldest daughter and my other daughters live out and do the things that Life brings for them for a good length of time.

One step and a time y'all. Sometimes I still stand still when I can't take that step. Always head forward though.

We are working with it. Playing the hand that we were dealt.

'Till next time.

Carolinaware.


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(Words) I haven't 'stopped' writing about her, I've just stopped pushing 'Publish Post' on it for a minute...




I know a lot of you are here because of that now. More thoughts coming. Just haven't published some for lots of reasons.

A. Pretty raw.

B. Pretty busy.

C. Pretty emotional.

D. Some are too private and I probably will NEVER publish but I needed to write down.

E. I don't want to 'wear it out' although I know this is MY process and my situation so I can do what I want to do.

F. I wanted to bring some sense of the 'new' normal to the blog and post up some 'nice' things. Music, candy, whatever. Didn't want it all to be 'sad'. Even though I am DEFINITELY still in the process of dealing with all of this.

Now I know some of you follow me on other mediums, Instagram, Facebook, etc and have seen my lil feeble attempts to 'live'. *chuckles* I'm trying. End of the day though, I am still dealing with this. When everyone is gone, when the tv is off and the kids are in the bed, it is just me.


....and my thoughts. Out of that time has come some of the writings that I have either shared, alluded to up top or that will be vaulted away. The night's activities fall to the wayside at that point and the 'dreamlike euphoria' that is my situation hits me.

I pray for the day that doesn't happen, as often. Note I didn't say I pray for the day it doesn't happen ever. For a lot of reasons. Some you may understand. Some I hope you NEVER UNDERSTAND 'cause that means that you will know the pain I feel PERSONALLY. I want to wake up from this dream but I know I'm already awake.

........It's not a dream. It's my Life now.


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(Words) Intervention, Truth & 'Moving On' : Where I am at with her death at this moment..







These are all Facebook STATUS updates that I turned into blog posts 'cause well....I felt they were a little long winded to be just status updates. I am going to post the link of Facebook 'cause the first one 'explains' another pretty cryptic status update I put up which got me ALL KINDS OF TEXTS AND PHONE CALLS. aka It Struck A Nerve.

The other ones will probably strike a nerve too I'm sure.





1/19/13



When you pray for intervention, you can't frown about how comes to you. You just take the intervention as it comes and be thankful you got it.

Intervention has come to me in ways that I've seen most you Usain Bolt from. Stop running. Let it work for you.

Let me be clear. Someone saying something is not always intervention. Sometimes that is nothing more than noise. Most of my interventions have been full of action.
With few words.

This time period has been no different. Only this time the actions are continuous. Some words and a lot of action. All for a reason though. No matter how fleeting..

I'm all man so I'm gonna take every bit of it as I can for what it is worth.

I'm ready when I'm ready @ whatever is going on. Stop worrying about me not knowing. Moving.. kids....moving 'on'....I'll do what I do when I do it. When i wanna do it. How I wanna do it.

Handle yours. Please. I've been through more than I've even told you. I'm still here though.

 Admirable that you are worried about me but it is clear that your attention shouldn't be on me. It should be on handling yours.

Listen to what you say to me and heed it yourself. Maybe it isn't just me....ya know? Maybe it is you and it is just more convenient to say it is me. Stop using me to avoid your own shit.

I hold no pretense as far as my readiness. I didn't know the date she would leave. I'm probably not ready for a lot of things if we are gonna keep it funky.



Things still need to get done. I'm gonna do em. The best way I know how. Just like I did before. Got me here right? Okay then...

Let me say this though....

None of y'all have done what I'm doing. None. It shows too cause you keep telling me I'm not ready for ( you can insert numerous situations here. You will of course insert only one... dating. That's a mistake btw...I can't tell some of you shit though so... I digress.)  yet here the fuck you are...asking and telling I should be. Double talking. Telling me what needs to done. What I 'have to do'. Not asking...not gently advising.... telling!!



Oh? Word? Oh okay....Naw...

She never told me what to do. Fuck makes you that you can?

Does this mean I don't want advice? No. Don't want support? No.

Have I made it happen without that though being abundant from a sample pool of thirty people? Absofuckinglutely!

I just need you to listen to what you say/ evaluate what you wanna do in regards to me really carefully cause some of you know you have no business doing what you are doing. You know the positions I don't need to be in but yet here you are. Putting me in em.  And I'm trying to be nice...I'm not gonna be nice in a minute. Maybe you need to learn how to come at me. Maybe if you already have bullshit, maybe I don't need to be a party to it. I'm all stocked up on bullshit to deal with over here. None for me thanks.



She was bout the only person who could filter that.  She isn't here. Her memory is what's stopping me.

That's not gonna be enough in a minute.

Why do this here? @ these words today. Well shit cause some folks need to see me say it that's why. Duh!

There are that many you too and quite frankly I've got bigger fish to fry. As you so astutely keep pointing out like I don't know this or haven't been about them since the first one came on Mother's Day 1998.



If this doesn't pertain to you, chuckle it up, hit like or whatever and keep it moving.

If it is you though....yeah...if its you. Do what you need to do. I am.


......1/20/13



Raw emotions.... good and bad. Jersey flapping in the rafters and practice sessions showing things are intact. Offers to play for teams that I quite frankly refused to play for before and teams who should have been recruiting me from the gate but only showed interest once I got 'drafted'. Even got offers from the 'Celtics'...interesting indeed...

Pondering staying in retirement though not cause the game has changed. It is I that has changed..... I travel different now. I'd be on my AI talking about "Practice? We talking about practice?? Not a game...not a game.... " cause all I've done for almost ten years is show on game day, fill my role, win and go home. I ain't about that practice life at this juncture.

Brand loyalty....my team is defunct in a sense. Gotta carry on the name though minus the CEO of my corporation that I hand picked. Started from the ground up. @ company.


I own the team too though so I can move it wherever. Whenever i want to. Copyright and all. The name has my Daddy's blood on it...- a certain NC rapper..

Thing is...ugh....yeah...

I have to be cryptic cause I can't tell all as it isn't my nature anyway but I kinda gotta let it out some so...besides y'all asking on the sly so..


1/21/13


Sometimes you have open yourself up to the possibilities of the worst to get to the truth. I haven't forgotten how we learned that lesson TOGETHER Jane. I can rest assured NOW knowing I know what is was now. It is what I suspected originally but unfortunately the raw emotions and sudden flurry of 'details' that folks sat on conveniently till you died, muddying up the truth with their half baked theories full of speculation and bullshit.

Downstairs btw...not upstairs. She never went there...-_-. Just one the many misnomers I've heard as you guys hear "what happened" or what drove what to what from folks who, I've never seen in my life and have never been to my home. Listening to them feed you info due to them being 'close to the situation'.  Never seen em before. But they 'know'. They know so much that every 'detail' they have given you was wrong. Smh Only thing they got right was she was gone...that's it. Sad...no life having mofos shall not prosper around here though. Do me a favor. Don't ever intro me to those folks. Don't wanna to know em... Have no use for em...

You niggas oughta quit. @ making up shit. Yeah I've heard the rumors. Didn't know us then... still only know 4% now...@ some of y'alls 'friends'

Tell your friends to run up on me with shit. Please. I'm waiting.

Let me not Kirk all the way out...

Faith.. resolve...tough questions.. and facing things head on have netted the truth though...



Mother Hen Jane doing her. As usual. Doing it all when you didn't have to. @ what. If folks know you like they claim they do to whatever capacity that is, then they will get that. If they don't.... speculate on they will. I can't do shit about that.. have it.

I'm in a different place now than a few weeks ago. Back where I started when you passed. Investigation over for me.. I'm satisfied with my findings. Y'all got that..


 I've still got your Zen over here Pretty Gal @ my job/role in your life. Correction our life. Just gonna give it to the girls now :). You knew that though. Love you. Muah


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(Video) YouTube Video Captures Colorado movie shootings..


UPDATE: I don't want to make more than one post about this so I'm just going to keep adding things to this post.. Like the blog from the young lady who died last night about another shooting she was involved with in June (2012)

I woke up to this (like many of you) this morning. Very saddened. I mean I can 'believe it' but that doesn't make it any less tragic to me. Brave folks to stay and video tape this. I was with ole girl in the background. It was time to leave.

Video....no pictures...no stills to lead off the post. Just the video. If there were any, I wouldn't be putting them nor making any. 24 year old white male is alleged shooter... victims allegedly ranged from 6-31 in age...




 I'm so thankful for folks who blog their life out for us. It takes away the speculation in some sense and may hopefully teach some of us some damm humility..



 This can be found here....

 Late Night Thoughts on the Eaton Center Shooting

Posted by Jessica Redfield in Uncategorized on June 5, 2012





I can’t get this odd feeling out of my chest. This empty, almost sickening feeling won’t go away. I noticed this feeling when I was in the Eaton Center in Toronto just seconds before someone opened fire in the food court. An odd feeling which led me to go outside and unknowingly out of harm‘s way. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how a weird feeling saved me from being in the middle of a deadly shooting. What started off as a trip to the mall to get sushi and shop, ended up as a day that has forever changed my life. I was on a mission to eat sushi that day, and when I’m on a mission, nothing will deter me. When I arrived at the Eaton Center mall, I walked down to the food court and spotted a sushi restaurant. Instead of walking in, sitting down and enjoying sushi, I changed my mind, which is very unlike me, and decided that a greasy burger and poutine would do the trick. I rushed through my dinner. I found out after seeing a map of the scene, that minutes later a man was standing in the same spot I just ate at and opened fire in the food court full of people. Had I had sushi, I would’ve been in the same place where one of the victims was found. My receipt shows my purchase was made at 6:20 pm. After that purchase I said I felt funny. It wasn’t the kind of funny you feel after spending money you know you shouldn’t have spent. It was almost a panicky feeling that left my chest feeling like something was missing. A feeling that was overwhelming enough to lead me to head outside in the rain to get fresh air instead of continuing back into the food court to go shopping at SportChek. The gunshots rung out at 6:23. Had I not gone outside, I would’ve been in the midst of gunfire. I walked around the outside of the mall. People started funneling out of every exit. When I got back to the front, I saw a police car, an ambulance, and a fire truck. I initially thought that maybe the street performer that was drumming there earlier had a heart attack or something. But more and more police officers, ambulances, and fire trucks started showing up. Something terrible has happened. I overheard a panicked guy say, “There was a shooting in the food court.” I thought that there was no way, I was just down there. I asked him what happened. He said “Some guy just opened fire. Shot about 8 shots. It sounded like balloons popping. The guy is still on the loose.” I’m not sure what made me stick around at this point instead of running as far away from the mall as possible. Shock? Curiosity? Human nature? Who knows. Standing there in the midst of the chaos all around us, police started yelling to get back and make room. I saw a young shirtless boy, writhing on a stretcher, with his face and head covered by the EMS as they rushed him by us to get him into an ambulance. The moment was surprisingly calm. The EMTs helping the boy weren’t yelling orders and no one was screaming like a night time medical drama. It was as if it was one swift movement to get the boy out of the mall and into the ambulance. That’s when it really hit me. I felt nauseas. Who would go into a mall full of thousands of innocent people and open fire? Is this really the world we live in? Police start yelling again “GET BACK NOW!” Another stretcher came rushing out of the mall. I saw a man on a stretcher, the blanket underneath him spotted with blood. Multiple gunshot holes in his chest, side, and neck were visible. It’s not like in the movies when you see someone shot and they’re bleeding continuously from the wound. There was no blood flowing from the wounds, I could only see the holes. Numerous gaping holes, as if his skin was putty and someone stuck their finger in it. Except these wounds were caused by bullets. Bullets shot out of hatred. His dark skin on his torso was tinted red with what I assume was his own blood. He was rushed into the ambulance and taken away. More people joined the crowd at the scene and asked what happened. “There was a shooting in the food court,” kept being whispered through the crowd like a game of telephone. I was standing near a security guard when I heard him say over his walkie talkie, “One fatality.” At this point I was convinced I was going to throw up. I’m not an EMT or a police officer. I’m not trained to handle crime and murder. Gun crimes are fairly common where I grew up in Texas, but I never imagined I’d experience a violent crime first hand. I’m on vacation and wanted to eat and go shopping. Everyone else at the mall probably wanted the same thing. I doubt anyone left for the mall imagined they witness a shooting. I was shown how fragile life was on Saturday. I saw the terror on bystanders’ faces. I saw the victims of a senseless crime. I saw lives change. I was reminded that we don’t know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath. For one man, it was in the middle of a busy food court on a Saturday evening. I say all the time that every moment we have to live our life is a blessing. So often I have found myself taking it for granted. Every hug from a family member. Every laugh we share with friends. Even the times of solitude are all blessings. Every second of every day is a gift. After Saturday evening, I know I truly understand how blessed I am for each second I am given. I feel like I am overreacting about what I experienced. But I can’t help but be thankful for whatever caused me to make the choices that I made that day. My mind keeps replaying what I saw over in my head. I hope the victims make a full recovery. I wish I could shake this odd feeling from my chest. The feeling that’s reminding me how blessed I am. The same feeling that made me leave the Eaton Center. The feeling that may have potentially saved my life.
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(Video) @WendyWilliams on Whitney Houston's death..

Very heartfelt and candid. Just thought I would give another side of Wendy's and Whitney's relationship since folks like to speak on 'that interview' in 2003...


This lets you know that Wendy is a real person.

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(Words) want to talk RATIONALLY about the Stepdad Charged With Murdering 3 Teens in Philly..


Emphasis on 'want'...

 There are MANY MANY MANY questions I have about this situation as well as some things I want to point out about this situation. 

Lets cover the obvious. He is an adult. They are kids. Lets get that out of the way because for some of you, that is ALL YOU CAN SEE and it ends there. So I will openly acknowledge what should BE OBVIOUS. 

Lets dig deeper though and ask the questions that some of you want to GLOSS over, shall we?

WHO TAUGHT THESE KIDS THEIR CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS? Get in the car SEVEN DEEP and confront someone AT THEIR OWN HOME? I WONDER WHAT KIND OF ROLE MODELS THEY HAD that taught them that? I have to wonder aloud just WHERE WERE the adults in THEIR SITUATION? Again, I know YOU DON'T WANT TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS but I will. It only makes sense. 

Furthermore, JUST HOW DID THEY THINK IT WAS GOING TO TURN OUT? I mean you mount up SEVEN DEEP GOING TO SOMEONE'S house you don't know WHAT YOU MIGHT ENCOUNTER. I mean, this isn't the movies. This is real life. You run up on someone's house bringing 'drama', you don't know what is waiting for you... Just because someone 'dares' you to do something doesn't mean they ARE BLUFFING. They might....gasp...actually have something waiting on that ass. In this case, they did. I keep hearing murmurs about 'expecting a fist fight' and it not being fair but if there are seven of you, how 'fair' was the fist fight going to be? Oh......Sounds like a classic case of 'We have the advantage so we are gonna..oh wait we don't have the advantage anymore so lets cry FOUL...' That's just what that is.. Sorry. You want to be a man and go to another MAN'S HOUSE then things like this might happen... There are consequences for the adult but there are also consequences for one who ventures to a man's house in search of a confrontation.


Now....before you say..'Damm Mr. Blogger, so it is just ALL THEIR FAULT HUH? THEY ARE KIDS!!" keep reading...I'm going to tear the shooter a new asshole too. Just relax. It is just that sometimes, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU TELL YOUNG PEOPLE SHIT DOES STINK, it tends SMELL STRONGER when one of their own is involved. Hence me being so harsh about it. At that age, you think you are invincible as you have 'Your whole life ahead of you..' and you make some INCREDIBLY DUMB DECISIONS. What if it wasn't the stepfather who had the gun but ONE OF THE BOYS THEY WERE GOING TO CONFRONT GOT A HOLD OF IT? (Pretty sure that gun wasn't bought THAT DAY..It is a pretty safe bet that it is was in the household...) There had to be a better way to solve WHATEVER the issue was than to GO OVER TO THEIR HOUSE AGGRESSIVELY. Had to be...Speaking of 'had to be'....


There had TO BE A BETTER A WAY FOR THE STEPFATHER TO HANDLE THIS. So you find out, your kids have an issue and from the sounds of it, ONE OF THEM TELLS THEM TO COME TO THE CRIB. I won't come out and say the stepfather told the boys to tell them to come through but that's what is going to be said. Lets just say that even if he didn't and found out while they were in route he STILL COULD HAVE HANDLED IT BETTER. He could have called..the cops...Oh wait...



(We are about to get to the REAL ISSUE HERE...BARE WITH ME... We are almost there..) 

WE (PRETTY MUCH EVERY ETHNIC PERSON) aren't supposed to 'deal with the cops' in any fashion. Somehow or another, we have ALL BECOME A MEMBER OF A CRIME FAMILY AND WE ALL HAVE TO ABIDE BY MAFIA RULES AND THAT INCLUDES NO POLICE CONTACT OF ANY KIND. 

....You see, this is where THAT BULLSHIT causes MORE BULLSHIT. Those kids would be ALIVE today if SOMEONE HAD CALLED THE COPS. Someone. I don't know who. I won't say it is my place to say WHO. All I know is that NOBODY WAS GUIDING THOSE KIDS IN A MANNER THAT WOULD ALLOW THAT TO EVEN BE AN OPTION and now three kids are dead. One man is going to go to jail 'protecting his family' OUTSIDE OF HIS HOME (If he did it right and let them get on his property like a PROPER GUN OWNER knows how to do......) taking a form of justice that WHILE EVEN AS A PARENT I MAY UNDERSTAND (Hell he might be too and may have come to grips with the punishment that will probably come..) I can't 'FULLY' condone. 

Knowing there was a way to do it. I can't say he could have pulled out the gun and scared 'em off because that might have led to MORE SHIT and his kids getting killed but what I can say is his mere presence might have squashed this. He is THE ADULT. Now I have no way of knowing if the 'victims' in this case would have been receptive to that. Judging by the way he sat IN HIS DRIVEWAY, shot them and then went into hiding, I think it is PRETTY SAFE TO SAY he operates on the 'wavelength' as the boys who thought it was a good idea to go to a MAN'S HOUSE and start trouble. Get what I'm saying? No? Let me spell it out for you so that I am CRYSTAL CLEAR. 


This is what happens when you live a 'certain' way or you attempt to do so. I should strike that last part out actually cause even those that 'really live it' GET SHOT AND KILLED so lets not act like that exempts one from dying. Going around, looking for confrontations is a DEAD END STREET. I won't hit ya'll with the syrupy sweet message of 'Too many of us are dying..." Nope... Lets keep it 'trill' as some of you like to say.


Nowadays though, we are out here raising our youth to 'NOT WALK AWAY FROM ANYTHING' under the guise of 'If you don't stand for nothing you will fall for ANYTHING' or my favorite negro saying "I'd rather die standing than live on my knees.." Meanwhile, THOSE THAT SAY THAT BULLSHIT HAVE OUR YOUTH 'FALLING FOR BULLSHIT'.. Not sure when 'bullshit' became better than 'anything'. Much like the rest of the niggeraztion of the every SAYING KNOWN TO MAN AT THIS POINT, you niggers (yes I said niggers..) have managed to take what were positive sayings into PURE GARBAGE. I don't want to so much as strangle the ADULT that shot the kids as I do the IDIOTS that taught them the core values that got them into the situation in the first place. Who thinks SEVEN ON THREE is a fair fight? What kinda coward ass shit IS THAT? Misguided youth for sure. All the way around.


I'll tell you what though. Since some of you BELIEVE IN THE BULLSHIT so much, why don't you ask those little boys if THEY STILL FEEL THAT THEY MADE CORRECT CHOICE TO CONFRONT FOLKS AT THEIR HOUSE? Oh wait, YOU CAN'T. They are dead. -_-. Last I checked, according to EVERY NOT SO THINLY VEILED THREAT OF EVERY WANNA BE MODERN DAY BILLY THE KID, "Dead man tell no tales...." so you can't ask 'em. I bet you their mothers and their PEOPLE would LOVE TO ASK THEM THOUGH AND WISHED THEY WERE ALIVE TODAY. No amount of your 'respect' can bring them back either.. @ those of you who think they went out 'like G's' and since quite frankly 95% of you don't have a window to piss in or pot to throw it out with, it REALLY MEANS NOTHING. @ your respect. 

I won't get into how I think that this might serve as a wake up call for youth in the area this happened or how this might show what happens when you DON'T GROW UP with any sense of morals or values. I FAULT THEM BOTH. @ the parties involved. Lots of things that, unfortunately due to the 'rules' of society, could have been done to avoid this TRAGEDY. Make mistake, this is a tragedy. One that will be repeated as boys grow up to be...well....boys.. * 


 *I told you I don't totally blame those kids. The adult in the situation should have left his 'street dreams' in the streets and called the authorities BUT I KNOW WHY HE DIDN'T. Our society won't 'allow it'. We have 'out smarted ourselves' and now we can't even reach out when we REALLY SHOULD. Not contacting/talking to the police when you and your boy have commissioned a crime is ONE THING. I DEFINITELY agree with that. Maybe you 'don't get involved' in the things 'that happen on your block' if you want to live**. Aight..cool. But shit like this? You HAVE TO USE YOUR BRAIN. This wasn't going to END WELL REGARDLESS. Either your kids are gonna get hurt or maybe even you. If you 'care about the streets' as much as you say though, I would think you would try to MEDIATE on some level. Even before calling ANYONE but something should have been done. Unfortunately, the same 'ideal' that prompted those boys to get into the car and take that 'ride' is the same one that got three of 'em killed.



**Can't complain about shit though. Period. The end. It is either live with it or do something.

Stepdad Charged With Murdering 3 Teens | NBC 10 Philadelphia

Three teens are dead and another was injured after a 30-year-old stepfather opened fire on a car full of kids who allegedly came over to confront his three stepsons Tuesday night, according to police.
Authorities apprehended Axel Barreto Wednesday night without incident at a Bensalem, Pa. motel and Thursday morning, the man accused of killing three teens has now been charged with their murder.
Police say that around 10:30 p.m. Tuesday, seven teens got in a car and drove over to a house on the 1500 block of East Luzerne Street in the Juniata section of Philadelphia. There, Barreto was waiting with a semi-automatic in the driveway. A dispute that allegedly began on Facebook pitted the seven teens in the car against Barreto's three teenage stepsons in the house in what was expected to be a fistfight..
Barreto allegedly fired about a dozen shots into the car full of kids, police said.
Four of the seven teens were hit. Police tell NBC Philadelphia that two of the teens, 14-year-old Javier Orlandi of the 200 block of East Mayfield Street and 14-year-old Joshua Soto of the 900 block of Poplar Street, were pronounced dead at St. Christopher’s Hospital just before 11 p.m. Tuesday.
Dante Lugo, also 14, of the 900 block of 6th Street was in critically injured and died in the hospital Wednesday night, police said.
The 16-year-old driver was in stable condition Wednesday. His neck was grazed by a bullet, according to authorities.
The three other teens who had been in the car were talking with police, helping them figure out the chain of events leading up to the deadly shooting. Police say that someone in the car received a call asking them to meet in the driveway.
Authorities say the shooting was a result of an argument between teens from two different neighborhoods. It's unknown where they went to school and the exact cause of the dispute.
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Man Dies After Eating Cocaine Out Of Brother’s Ass - The Dreamin Demon

Man Dies After Eating Cocaine Out Of Brother’s Ass - The Dreamin Demon


-_-

You niggas and ya'll 'codes'....


HARLESTON, S.C. – A man’s brother died after eating the cocaine stashed in his ass and now police plan on charging him with manslaughter.
Back in November, 23-year-old Deangelo Rashard Mitchell and his brother, 20-year-old Wayne Joshua Mitchell were arrested for trafficking.
Video in the car captured Deangelo begging his younger brother to fish the cocaine out of his ass and eat it.
“One of us gotta do it, you the only one that don’t have any strikes. …You my little brother… I’m gonna get life,” Deangelo pleads.
Wayne does as he is instructed, and within the hour he was having trouble breathing and bleeding from the mouth. He died soon afterward.
Deangelo was initially charged with trafficking drugs and has since bonded out of jail. But with the video evidence and a toxicology report that definitively proves Wayne died from consuming the cocaine, police plan on charging Deangelo with involuntary manslaughter.



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(Words) Today's edition of "The Reach": Folks opinions on @Drake's Take Care and Conrad Murray being found guilty of killing MJ..














Normally, I stay away from the 'hot button' topics because TWENTY MILLION PEOPLE weigh in them and folks seem to simultaneously think that they are 'speaking for the people' but still are the only ones who think the way they do. 

In other words, they tend to think people are 'stealing' their little ideals and shit and I don't have time for that small minded shit. The other reason is over saturation. I mean we all are talking about. Why today? 


Today, the two topics happen to go hand in hand with something I was going to write about anyway. The fact that some of you are STILL LISTENING/ACTIVELY SEEKING OUT TO LISTEN/GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY TO LISTEN, TO MUSIC THAT IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU, BY YOUR OWN ADMISSION, ANYWAY AND THE LEVEL OF 'RESPONSIBILITY YOU REFUSE TO TAKE FOR IT' ALL WHILE BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR ITS EXISTENCE. 


What does that have to do with Conrad Murray? (If you are as smart as some of you claim, you ALREADY KNOW WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS ONE..) Well.... it is true that he PROVIDED THE DRUGS for MJ but who TOOK THE DRUGS? Who had the issues to begin with and SOUGHT HIM OUT TO TAKE THE DRUGS KNOWING (Please don't feign ignorance and tell Mike didn't know. He did. Stop that shit.) the drugs were harmful and would have gotten them hook or crook? You know the answer to that one. Michael Joseph Jackson. Not Conrad Murray. Now, I have all of you 'The police/government/court system/etc' ain't shit' niggas, all in my social feeds out here talking about 'Justice served'. For a black man who was blamed for another black man's ADDICTIONS and vices. Word? That's how ya'll wanna carry this? So fuck the personal responsibility that Mike had? Naw B. Thing is, most of you didn't JUST GET TO FEELING THIS WAY. I will give you 'credit' for that. I will also chastise you for it though. Why? It is simple, you are making it seem like it is okay to just 'put the onus' on someone else when you have an issue. I mean for what it is worth, I am ALL FOR ACKNOWLEDGING FOLKS ARE SICK. I did that with Amy Winehouse. She was SICK. Should have been looked at as such. Michael was SICK. Should be looked at as such. What I WOULDN'T DO is demand that every Heroin dealer that ever came in contact with her on some 'Well somebody has to PAY..." type time. For what? Won't bring Amy back. It won't bring Mike back either. It SURELY WON'T STOP FOLKS WHO ARE OUT HERE USING AND SELLING THE STUFF EITHER so lets not play that card. If that were the case, folks would have stopped four celebrities ago. But ya'll keep making 'excuses' for folks. Just like you do in your own lives. It is NEVER YOUR FAULT.....






....which brings us to this Drake shit. Since the swell of the news of his album leaking out track by track to the masses, I promise you I have seen well over a thousand tweets/Facebook statuses,etc about the this album @ Take Care. 


The irony? It is mostly from folks who claim they don't 'care' about Drake. Oh the jokes are endless. He is 'softer' than (insert your joke here). Which are fine. Nobody is above being joked about if you want to say that. It's cool. Some of you out here though...boy let me tell you. You are doing THEE MOST out here. Reaching in for the "LOL" out here. Again, I am not against joking on the boy. Do your thing. Some of you are actually talented enough to do it and even when you OVERDUE IT some ( I said some niggas...) of the shit is WILD FUNNY.  Just understand what you look like out here when you dedicate your WHOLE TIMELINE TO HIM DAY AFTER DAY on some diss shit though. You are no different than the 'wack ass niggas' who diss YOU for liking the 'other elements of hip hop that certain folks bring to the table' who SEEK OUT MUSIC TO DISLIKE IT. Fair is fair. Cry me a river. @ this Drake shit. We get it. You don't like him.

You should just KNOW how CONTRADICTORY you look saying 'no one that I know is checking for the boy', when you take a listen EVERY TIME HE RELEASES NEW PRODUCT on that 'Well maybe this joint might be hot and I don't wanna miss it BUT I DOUBT IT 'CAUSE HE IS WACK' mantra you keep running with. You look foolish. Never in my life have I checked for ANYONE I CONSIDER AS WACK AS SOME OF YOU CONSIDER DRAKE. Never. Same way I don't check for 'lames'* in real life. 

I guess this is the part where I am supposed to say "I don't 'understand' why you folks keep checking for him though" huh? Nope. I try not to say that ESPECIALLY WHEN I KNOW WHY. 




You are afraid that his 'emotions' will be accepted as the norm and you will actually have to act 'non tough' and stop acting emotionally available to get pussy. Which is the DUMBEST SHIT EVER btw. Just be yourself. Shit. He is. Look, if Ralph Tresvant's ass didn't stop niggas from getting pussy, there is no way DRAKE WILL. If that BabyFace 'I'll pay your rent.."** thing didn't last than this too shall pass. Stop sweating it.




Here is the ULTIMATE IRONY OF THIS THOUGH:




 YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER, when he isn't out here trying to impress you with is 'street cred' or the other stuff, LOVES DRAKE. Quotes him all the time. Collabs with him. Thinks he is ill. So when you are making those jokes are you talking about YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER TOO? Or is he/she exempt from that? Inquiring minds want to know. You want me to name names? @ rappers


Okay...COOL. I will. 


Meek QUOTES HIM OFTEN on Twitter... Joe Buddens.....QUOTES HIM OFTEN. The real GHOSTFACE? He has ACTUALLY GIVEN HIM PROPS. Jeezy? He has songs with him. 'Ye? Yep......Jay-Z (My FAVORITE RAPPER)...YOU KNOW IT... @ props. Phonte (2nd/3rd favorite rapper OF MINE) ? Didn't like the backhand compliment BUT HAS GIVEN HIM PROPS FOR HIS LYRICAL ABILITY. I can keep going..Bun B......yup....You want me to stop? I have more...I'll chill.....All respected lyricists.  I don't think I have to though now do I? 


Again, MAKE ALL THE JOKES YOU WANT. Some of them are deserved honestly. Just know that it is your OWN FAULT for torturing your OWN EARS when you 'listen' to folks you don't like. You hanging with folks that 'like' Drake like that but that isn't your style? Switch your planes- Jay-Z. (If you are a fan of hip hop, you get the reference..) 

Yes, I know...everyone you talk to talks about him. Not really. The folks I hear talking about him THE MOST ARE THE FOLKS WHO 'HATE HIM'. How ironic is THAT SHIT? In case you STILL DON'T GET WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY..Refer to the pictures. They say it all.




Sorry if you caught a stray bullet in this one. If this means we can't be 'friends', so be it. I mean....Ya'll catch me with 'em all the time though. I don't bitch about it. I keep pressing on.



*I hate that saying but it is the only 


**Soon I Get Home From Work.......I'll buy your clothes....It was all good until niggas thought they owned a bitch and then GALS CAUGHT ON and 'poof', that shit disappeared. Trust me, this 'Fuck that nigga....' shit will die down too. Besides, he isn't the first to say it. Do your research.  b


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(Words) So NOW everyone cares about killing...... With the way some of you talk though...

You have made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR YOU WILL KILL FOLKS.


You will kill 'em in the Mall.

You will kill 'em in the Club.

You will kill folks as they come up out their co-parent's house. 

You will kill folks in light.

You will kill folks in the dark.

You will kill for folks for breathing wrong.

You will kill folks for being on the wrong side of town.

You will kill folks FOR RAPPING WACK LYRICS.

You will kill folks for 'hoes'. Even though they are hoes and they don't mean shit according to you anyway.

You will kill folks for LAND YOU DON'T EVEN OWN or even take care of.

You will kill just for sport.

Yet you want to know why 'No one will come and help you...'. I mean isn't it obvious? It has little to do with not caring.


The answer is simple and HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH CARING.


Some folks actually do CARE. They see the situations folks are coming from and want to help. Willing to help even. Even take some risks by those AROUND THAT PERSON who they want to help. What anyone with common sense is NOT GOING TO DO is help someone who is basically borderline threatening them EVERY OTHER SENTENCE with this 'kill talk'.

You see these folks also CARE ABOUT living. They may have OTHER FOLKS TO LIVE FOR THEMSELVES. Hell, they MAY JUST WANT TO LIVE AND TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES! 

Who wants to help someone who has CLEARLY STATED THAT THEY WOULD SEE TO IT THAT 'LIVING' WOULDN'T BE AN OPTION depending on 'What kind of mood that person woke up in that morning"? That 'anyone' on the street can get it 'just because'?

Not anyone with any type of common sense if THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO COME IN CONTACT WITH THEM. So folks DO CARE. It is the 'disregard for Life' being exhibited by SOME of the folks who want help that prevents the help.

If the 'don't care' label is going to be thrown around in this conversation, lets look at SOME of the folks asking for the help and the things I said up top. Those things are put up as a shield by SOME of those folks all the time. Unprovoked. As in, NOBODY WAS TALKING TOUGH but that information gets VOLUNTEERED in normal conversation. Again, I ask...Who in their right mind is going to help anyone talking to them like that?


So I hesitate to say that 'Nobody cares' about the plight of those suffering in certain areas WHEN I hear SOME OF THOSE SAME FOLKS say these things. I hesitate to 'feel remorse' for folks who 'get caught up in shit' BY THEIR OWN CHOOSING 'cause they are living the Life of a Killer. I mean we aren't talking about twelve year olds here. We are talking GROWN ASS ADULTS. Who know better. 

Now if you have done some things in the past with the understanding that you did them and you can't take them back but have CHANGED your ways? That is something that I would overlook. I would help. I would be understanding that you did what you did, you aren't proud of it but you aren't 'dwelling' on it either. 


I am sure at this point you are wondering....

"Where is this coming from? Let me tell you...."


The Troy Davis case.


All this week, I watched folks rally around this man. The 'underlying' premise being that folks recanted statements and THUS he is magically innocent OR HE DESERVED A NEW TRIAL. I actually happen to agree with the latter BUT that doesn't mean I am willing to overlook the OTHER FACTS of his story like some of you are. Yes, you are overlooking them. You brush them to the side. Which isn't fair. This situation isn't being discussed in its sum. It is being discussed in a vacuum. All you folks want to talk about is the 'trial'.

It seems that some of you think that he should have been 'freed'. As in walk out of the jail 'free'. All because he is Black, the case was in Georgia and you don't like the cops. Flawed thinking. I don't KNOW whether he killed the cop or not but I DO KNOW (by his own admission) that he was involved in the commission of a crime THAT CULMINATED IN THE SHOOTING OF THE COP. I'm no 'cop lover' but I am not blinded by my 'non love' for 'em either. I am no lover of folks WHO KILL PEOPLE or run arouund beating up homeless folks either. Call it what you want but I CALL IT FUCKING LOVING TO LIVE. Anything else, AND I DO MEAN ANYTHING ELSE, is pretty fucking stupid to me. @ LOOKING AT LIFE ANY OTHER WAY.* 


You see, if someone hadn't sold Troy Davis that 'way of thinking' that I outlined up top, maybe he wouldn't have been out there beating up a homeless man. (Which he admitted to. Do the RESEARCH and stop listening to your favorite local tough guy, Internet funny man or whatever..). Maybe...just maybe....that 'nickname' that he had, he wouldn't have been out in the World trying to show folks he earned it. He was caught up in his way of thinking and ultimately, the folks with the Power did away with him.


At some point, you have to take  responsibility for the situations that you put yourself in. HE PUT HIMSELF IN THAT SITUATION. No other way to say it. Just like he did at the party around the same time @ his other gun charge. Was he 19 at the time? YES. He was young. That argument is played out though and here is why. 


You have told us as much...you say it everyday..


There are MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS of 19 year olds who have NOT MADE THAT SAME DECISION so miss me with the 'he was young' thing. EVERYONE ISN'T OUT HERE DOING THAT and you know it. You commonly refer to them as 'lames'/fakes/frauds/and the like so don't beg off on the notion that over 85% (just throwing a number out there but you get the point..) of the population does not partake in those activities at that age. Yes, even the ones from 'your hood/block/whatever'. Again, you tell us on every social network, in every rap you write, or at every party there are fakes and suckers out here. They can't all be one person so thus the conclusion is very few folks are out here 'doing it like that'. Again, you have admitted as much with the 'lame/suckers/fakes' talk you do. So now what is your excuse? If everyone isn't 'built for that Life' and is frauding then EVERYBODY can't be doing. Not a hard concept to grasp.


KARMA: 

It is funny that some of you same folks THAT SCREAM THAT KARMA shit are afraid to say it was the 'case' with Troy Davis. Oh but you will say the Father/Mother of your child has been the recipient of Karma or that homie that got shot by your man got what Karma had for him. Ya'll are funny for that one. So because this is a 'sensitive' case though, anyone even suggesting that is wrong though? Real cute. See the paragraph above for why I am suggesting it. The path he was on man....the path he was on...I know ya'll want folks to win and all but damm...

No one should be killed. It is inhumane:

If you subscribe to ANYTHING THAT I SAID AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST, your opinion is null and void. I normally don't like to say that but in this case it just is. You can't be out here condoning random acts of violence and then getting on the government for executing folks if you are down with YOUR OWN FOLKS KILLING EACH OTHER IN THE STREETS EVERYDAY FOR BULLSHIT. Respect all killers if you respect killers dammit. Be consistent. What is that bullshit paint brush of a saying some of ya'll like to run around saying and applying to ALL YOUR MISGIVINGS: 

"Stand for something or fall for anything"

Then stand for that and respect the fact that they killed him. If that is what you stand for...(I don't stand for that but I'm not the one out here claiming to. That would be you.) I digress though.....I will let you continue to talk out of both sides of your mouth. Just know I see that you are contradicting the FUCK OUTTA YOURSELF.

I know I am being harsh but the facts of the matter won't distract me from the underlying truths. Troy Davis chose a path. Later on in Life, after incarceration, he decided that maybe that wasn't such a good idea. I commend him for it. He converted his life. It was too late though. The law that executed him wasn't MADE SPECIFICALLY FOR HIM. It existed. It was KNOWN. Trust me it was KNOWN. Top that off with the fact that he lives IN FUCKING GEORGIA. The state with the damm Confederate Flag in its STATE'S FLAG. Fair shake? You would be lucky to GET A SHAKE in that State. Of any kind. Some of you who live up North REALLY DON'T GET THE CLIMATE and some of you who have transplanted in say the last 10-20 years DON'T EITHER. It is still bad but back then? Sheit. Black on Black or not, they were locking up BLACK FOLKS JUST FOR BEING BLACK. A crime scene with a dead cop WAS NOT WHERE YOU WANTED TO BE. Innocent or not. So yeah ya'll can act like the time period didn't have a factor in that if you like but at that time IF YOU WERE BLACK YOU NEEDED TO BE DOING IT BIGGER AND BETTER than someone who was white. You DAMM SURE didn't want to be out there involving yourself with the murder of a cop. Whether you did it or not. Keep ignoring that fact though....

Maybe some youth will see this case and can be saved. Too bad some of you out here are not bringing up the fact that he made those choices and this was the result is not what the youth will see. Ya'll are going to make him a martyr and the cycle will continue. Bravo ladies and gentleman. Bravo. I am sure 'Whitey' is quite proud too. Probably sitting there saying...


"We won't have to worry about them much longer. They majority of them seem to think certain lifestyles are a right and with that thinking along with these laws we have in place, we can CONTINUE TO HEM THEM UP in bullshit. There seems to be a strong sect amongst them that 'dictates' the 'tough guy image'. It plays RIGHT INTO OUR HANDS. The gun laws. The laws structured to prosecute violent crimes, MOST OF WHICH THEY WILL COMMIT AGAINST THEMSELVES, and their unwillingness to 'snitch on each other' ARE ALL THINGS WE CAN USE AGAINST THEM AS WE TAKE OVER. They think 'they aren't getting a fair shake' now? Ha. Wait 'till we REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO THEM and take their beliefs and use them against them. This is just the beginning. " 






You think they aren't? You are a fool. I'd like to welcome THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN CLEARING LIVING UNDER A FUCKING ROCK for the vast majority of your lives. @ the injustices of the court system. I am beginning to think that some of you truly can't 'FATHOM' it. You thought it was just 'your boys' or your town. No. It is all over. Welcome to America. The World is bigger than your block fam. It isn't just in the history books. It is currently happening. That crime was committed in 1989 but for some of you, you finally got to see some REALLY FOUL SHIT done by some foul people all the around. (Whispers) It isn't the first time it has happened. Maybe white people were right. Want to hide something from black folks. Put it in a book. Or in the form of 'school'. Clearly, some of you (even folks my age) had the info 'hidden' from you. Shame on you for that too.

Oh you thought I was saying what happened at the 'end' of Troy's ordeal was 'fair'? No nigga. I NEVER SAID THAT. I said he had some choices to make and he made the wrong ones. I said that I would hope someone would learn from these choices THROUGH TROY'S ORDEAL so that they wouldn't have to suffer through any FURTHER INJUSTICES. "Cause once you are in that system, there isn't much folks can do for you. Sure we can riot, protest, get on Twitter and get our activism on. In the end though, NOTHING CAN BE DONE. You see Troy is gone right? Okay then. Plenty of factors that led up to it, including some of HIS DECISIONS. He should have been given a trial. Lots of 'shouldas' in this case. Like...say for instance...THE PERSON WHO DID SHOOT THE COP NOT LETTING HIS BOY TAKE THE FALL FOR IT...Too much like right though...Oh wait, we are talking about 'right' here. We want what is 'right' for Troy from our 'corrupt' government but we don't have the NUTS TO DEMAND THAT SAME QUALITY IN TROY'S BOYS..(Somebody shot the cop. He didn't shoot himself.) Riiiightt.......

The questions remain though: 

What are you folks going to do about it?


Are you going to vote now?


Are you going to TELL YOUR CHILDREN that the way of the World is already designed for them to fail so they shouldn't HELP THE PROCESS WITH THE DECISIONS THEY MAKE?


Are you going to tell folks the truth about this situation or are you going to leave out/gloss over the responsibilities folks have for putting themselves in certain situations?


Are you going to stay out of Georgia? Move out of Georgia if you live there? 


Are you going to continue down the path that puts you in the judicial system and at the mercy of the Prosecution?


Are you going to continue to go 'get your goons' every time someone steps on your damm shoes in the club, eyeballs your ex girlfriend or is from another part of town? If you are going to continue to do this shit, are you going to expect someone in power to step to the plate when they want to execute you when a 'simple lesson' turns into a murder? 


Are you going to beat on homeless people and still think 'Oh it is no big deal 'cause they are homeless...this won't turn into anything else big..Light charges....'? 



These and many more questions are the ones I have for some of you. My main questions for you today though are these though The others are important but I know the answers to most of them. No. You will continue to do nigga shit and then expect for the Nigga Angel to somehow send you some help after you get caught up....:





ARE YOU STILL AS MAD AS YOU WERE THAT NIGHT TROY WAS EXECUTED? 

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? 


 







*Matter of fact, if I have offended you by saying that, let me know. We can cut each other off right now. Never have to speak to each other again in Life. For real. I won't talk to you. You don't talk to me. I don't HELP YOU and since I don't accept help but from a few folks ANYWAY, you will continue not to help me. Cool? Good.  
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georgia.gov - Execution Set for Troy Anthony Davis, Convicted of 1989 Murder of Savannah Police Officer

georgia.gov - Execution Set for Troy Anthony Davis, Convicted of 1989 Murder of Savannah Police Officer


Here is something else for you to chew on while you are 'reading'.... Lots of reading but hey....


https://www.amnesty.org/en/library/asset/AMR51/023/2007/en/909e39f7-d3b6-11dd-a329-2f46302a8cc6/amr510232007en.html
This is interesting....To me anyway. You know how I am though. I don't like to blindly say 'Free" anyone or even ask for clemency just because 'I should'. I find those causes to be counterproductive. . I like THIS THING CALLED THE FACTS over 'emotion' or 'obligation'. Unfortunately, this is a government document so that doesn't GUARANTEE that either but it does present another side. Some folks have only heard this story via word of mouth. Maybe this will help...

I still think some sorta trial with today's technology (if evidence were available to be sampled using said technology) is in order but......



Office of Attorney General of Georgia

Georgia Seal

PRESS ADVISORY

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Execution Set for Troy Anthony Davis, Convicted of 1989 Murder of Savannah Police Officer

Georgia Attorney General Sam Olens offers the following information in the case against Troy Anthony Davis, who is currently scheduled to be executed on September 21, 2011 at 7:00 p.m.
Scheduled Execution
On September 6, 2011, the Superior Court of Chatham County filed an order, setting the seven-day window in which the execution of Troy Anthony Davis may occur to begin at noon on September 21, 2011, and ending seven days later at noon on September 28, 2011. The Commissioner of the Department of Corrections then set the specific date and time for the execution as 7:00 pm on September 21, 2011. Davis has concluded his direct appeal proceedings and his state and federal habeas corpus proceedings.
Davis’ Crimes
At approximately 1:00 a.m. on Saturday, August 19, 1989, officers of the Savannah Police Department responded to a call of “an officer down” at the Greyhound bus station. (T. 759)[1]. Officers found Mark MacPhail, a 27 year-old Savannah police officer, lying face down in the parking lot of the Burger King restaurant next to the bus station. (T. 759). Officer MacPhail’s mouth was filled with blood and bits of his teeth were on the sidewalk. As he began administering CPR to the victim, Officer Owens noticed that the victim’s firearm was still snapped into his holster. (T. 761).
Larry Young, who was present at the scene, told police that between midnight and 1:00 a.m. he had walked from the Burger King parking lot to the convenience store down the block to purchase beer. (T. 797-798). Sylvester “Red” Coles saw Young leave the pool hall next door and began following Young demanding a beer. (T. 798). Coles continued to harass Mr. Young all the way back to the Burger King. (T. 799). When Young arrived at the parking lot, Harriet Murray was sitting on a low wall by the restaurant. Davis and Daryl Collins, who had taken a shortcut to the parking lot, came out from behind the bank and surrounded Mr. Young. (T. 799). Mr. Coles, who was facing Mr. Young, told him not to walk away “cause you don’t know me, I’ll shoot you,” and began digging in his pants. (T. 845). Ms. Murray ran to the back door of the Burger King, which was locked. (T. 799). Davis, who was behind Young and to his right, blind-sided him, striking him on the side of the face with a snub-nosed pistol, inflicting a severe head injury. Mr. Young began to bleed profusely, and he stumbled to a van parked in front of the Burger King drive-in window, asking the occupants for help. (T. 803). When the driver did not respond, he went to the drive-in window, but the manager shut it in his face. (T. 803, 915).
In response to the disturbance in the parking lot, Officer MacPhail, who was working as a security guard at the restaurant, walked rapidly from behind the bus station, with his nightstick in his hand and ordered the three men to halt. (T. 849). Mr. Collins and Davis fled, and Officer MacPhail ran past Sylvester Coles in pursuit of Davis. (T. 851). Davis looked over his shoulder, and when the officer was five to six feet away, shot him. Officer MacPhail fell to the ground, and Davis walked towards him and shot him again while he was on the ground. (T. 850). One eyewitness testified that Davis was smiling at the time. (T. 851). The victim died of gunshot wounds before help arrived.
Davis fled to Atlanta the following day and surrendered to authorities on August 23, 1989.
Pursuant to an investigation, police learned that on the night of the killing, Davis had attended a party on Cloverdale Drive in a subdivision near Savannah. (T. 1115-1116). During the party, Davis, annoyed that some girls ignored him, told several of his friends something about “burning them.” (T. 146). Davis then walked around saying, “I feel like doing something, anything.” (T. 1464). When Michael Cooper and his friends were leaving the party, Davis was standing out front. (T. 1120). Michael Cooper was in the front passenger seat, and as the car pulled away, several of the men in the car leaned out the window shouting and throwing things. (T. 1120, 1186). Davis shot at the car from a couple of hundred feet away and the bullet shattered the back windshield and lodged in Michael Cooper’s right jaw. (T. 1186). Cooper was treated at the hospital and released and Cooper’s injury formed the basis for Count IV of Davis’ indictment. The shooting incident took place approximately one hour before Officer MacPhail was shot.
Shortly after Michael Cooper was shot, Eric Ellison and D.D. Collins picked up Davis in Cloverdale and took him to Brown’s Pool Hall in Savannah. Red Coles, wearing a yellow t-shirt, was already at the pool hall.
A ballistics expert testified that the bullet recovered from MacPhail’s body was of the same type and was possibly fired from the same weapon as used in the Cooper shooting. (T. 1292). Four .38 special casings recovered at Cloverdale, where Michael Cooper was wounded, were fired from the same gun as casings found at the scene of Officer MacPhail’s murder. (T. 1292).
At trial, Kevin McQueen, who was at the Chatham City Jail with Davis, testified that Davis told him there had been a party in Cloverdale on the night of the victim’s murder; Davis had argued with some men and there was an exchange of gunfire. (T. 1230-1231). Davis told McQueen he did some of the shooting. (T. 1231). After the party, Davis went to a girlfriend’s house and intended to eat breakfast at Burger King. Davis stated that he was with a friend and they ran into a guy who “owed money to buy dope.” (T. 1231). There was a fight, Officer MacPhail appeared, and Davis shot him in the face. As Officer MacPhail attempted to get up, Davis shot him again, because he was afraid MacPhail had seen him that night at Cloverdale. (T. 1232). Davis also told McQueen that he was on his way out of town to Atlanta. (T. 1232).
Jeffrey Lapp testified that Davis told him he did the shooting at Burger King, but that it was self-defense. (T. 1249-1252). Mr. Lapp noted that Davis’ street name was RAH, standing for “Rough As Hell.” (T. 1257).
Red Coles identified Davis as the perpetrator of Officer MacPhail’s murder, as did numerous other eyewitnesses, including Harriet Murray, Dorothy Ferrell, Daryl Collins, Antoine Williams, Steven Sanders and Larry Young.
Davis testified at trial. Davis admitted that he was present at the scene of the shooting on the night in question, but denied that he was involved in the shooting of Cooper or the victim or the assault on Larry Young.
The Trial (1989-1991)
Davis was found Davis guilty of one count of malice murder, one count of obstruction of a law enforcement officer, two counts of aggravated assault and one count of possession of firearm during the commission of a felony. The jury’s recommendation of a death sentence was returned on August 30, 1991. The Georgia Supreme Court unanimously affirmed Davis’ convictions and death sentence on February 26, 1993. Davis v. State, 263 Ga. 5, 426 S.E.2d 844 (1993). The Georgia Supreme Court specifically found that the evidence presented at Davis’ trial was sufficient to support the jury’s verdict, by stating that, “The evidence supports the conviction on all counts.” Davis v. State, 263 Ga. 5, 7 (1993).
State Habeas Corpus Petition (1994-2001)
Davis, represented by the Georgia Resource Center, filed a petition for a writ of habeas corpus in the Superior Court of Butts County, Georgia on March 15, 1994. An evidentiary hearing was held on December 16, 1996.
On September 9, 1997, the state habeas corpus court denied Davis state habeas corpus relief, including his claim that he was not the shooter. (State habeas corpus order of September 5, 1997, denying relief, page 41). The Georgia Supreme Court affirmed the denial of state habeas corpus relief on November 13, 2000. Davis v. Turpin, 273 Ga. 244, 539 S.E.2d 129 (2000).
Davis then filed a petition for writ of certiorari in the United States Supreme Court, which was denied on October 1, 2001. Davis v. Turpin, 534 U.S. 842, 122 S.Ct. 100 (2001).
Federal Habeas Corpus Petition (2001-2004)
Davis, represented by Thomas Dunn, filed a petition for a writ of habeas corpus in the United States District Court for the Southern District of Georgia, Savannah Division, on December 14, 2001. On May 13, 2004, the district court denied Davis federal habeas corpus relief. In its order denying relief, the federal habeas corpus court denied Davis a federal evidentiary hearing stating that, “this Court finds that because the submitted affidavits are insufficient to raise doubts as to the constitutionality of the result at trial, there is no danger of a miscarriage of justice in declining to consider the claim.” (Federal habeas corpus order of 5/13/04, p. 25.).
11th Circuit Court of Appeals (2004-2006)
The case was orally argued before the Eleventh Circuit on September 7, 2005. On September 26, 2006, the Eleventh Circuit issued an opinion which affirmed the denial of federal habeas corpus relief to Davis. Davis v. Terry, 465 F.3d 1249 (11th Cir. 2006). In the Eleventh Circuit’s opinion, the Court noted, “In this case, Davis does not make a substantive claim of actual innocence. Rather, he argues that his constitutional claims of an unfair trial must be considered, even though they are otherwise procedurally defaulted, because he has made the requisite showing of actual innocence under Schlup.” Davis v. Terry, 465 F.3d 1249, 1251 (11th Cir. 2006). Reviewing each of Davis’s claims, the Eleventh Circuit affirmed the denial of federal habeas corpus relief by stating the following, “Having very carefully considered this record, we cannot say that the district court erred in concluding that Davis has not borne his burden to establish a viable claim that his trial was constitutionally unfair.” Davis v. Terry, 465 F.3d 1249, 1256 (11th Cir. 2006). Davis filed a petition for writ of certiorari in the United States Supreme Court on April 11, 2007, which was denied on June 25, 2007.
Original Execution Date Set (July 17, 2007)
On June 29, 2007, Chief Judge Perry Brannen, Jr. of the Superior Court of Chatham County filed an order setting the execution of Troy Anthony Davis for July 17, 2007. Davis filed a motion for stay of execution and an extraordinary motion for new trial. The trial court granted a stay, and then “exhaustively reviewed” each submitted affidavit “and considered in great detail the relevant trial testimony, if any, corresponding to each.” In denying the extraordinary motion for new trial, the trial court concluded that, “Defendant has failed to carry the burden on each and every submitted affidavit.”
On appeal, the Georgia Supreme Court extensively reviewed each category of “affidavit testimony” on which Petitioner’s extraordinary motion relied, including: “recantations by trial witnesses,” “statements recounting alleged admissions of guilt by Coles,” “statements that Coles disposed of a handgun following the murder” and “alleged eyewitness accounts.” Davis v. State, 283 Ga. 438, 441-447, 660 S.E.2d 354 (2008). The Georgia Supreme Court held that, “Upon our careful review of Davis’s extraordinary motion for new trial and the trial record, we find that Davis failed to present such facts in his motion and, therefore, that the trial court did not abuse its discretion in denying that motion without a hearing.” Davis v. State, 283 Ga. at 448.
New Execution Date Set (September 23, 2008)
A new execution date was set for Troy Anthony Davis for September 23, 2008. On September 12, 2008, the Board of Pardons and Paroles denied commutation of death sentence and issued the following statement:
The Parole Board does not generally comment on death penalty cases it has considered for clemency. However, the Troy Davis case has received such extensive publicity that the Board has decided to make an exception.
Davis’ attorneys have argued that the Board should grant him clemency because a number of witnesses against Davis changed their earlier statements to the police and their testimony at the trial. Moreover, the attorneys have brought forward other people who now claim to have information that raises doubt as to the guilt of Davis.
Because of these claims, the Parole Board stopped Davis’ execution last year. The Board has now spent more than a year studying and considering this case.
As a part of its proceedings, the Board gave Davis’ attorneys an opportunity to present every witness they desired to support their allegation that there is doubt as to Davis’ guilt. The Board heard each of these witnesses and questioned them closely.
In addition, the Board has studied the voluminous trial transcript, the police investigation report and the initial statements of the witnesses. The Board has also had certain physical evidence retested and Davis interviewed.
After an exhaustive review of all available information regarding the Troy Davis case and after considering all possible reasons for granting clemency, the Board has determined that clemency is not warranted.
On September 23, 2008, the United States Supreme Court entered an order staying the execution pending disposition of Davis’s petition for writ of certiorari that had been previously filed on July 14, 2008. On October 14, 2008, the United States Supreme Court denied Davis’s petition for writ of certiorari, thus terminating the stay of execution. Davis v. Georgia, ___ U.S. ___, 129 S.Ct. 397 (2008).
New Execution Date Set (October 27, 2008)
An new execution date was set for October 27, 2008.
On October 22, 2008, Davis filed an application for leave to file a second or successive habeas corpus petition. Respondent filed a response in opposition on October 23, 2008. On October 24, 2008, the Eleventh Circuit granted a conditional stay of execution and directed both parties to submit briefs addressing specific issues. Both parties submitted briefs, and an oral argument before the Eleventh Circuit was held on December 9, 2008. On April 16, 2009, the Eleventh Circuit denied Davis’s application for leave to file a second or successive habeas corpus petition. In re: Davis, 565 F.3d 810 (11th Cir. 2009). The Eleventh Circuit held:
In short, we are constrained by the statutory requirements found in § 2244(b)(2)(B) to conclude that Davis has not even come close to making a prima facie showing that his Herrera claim relies on (i) facts that could not have been discovered previously through the exercise of due diligence, and that (ii), if proven, would “establish by clear and convincing evidence that, but for constitutional error, no reasonable factfinder would have found the applicant guilty of the underlying offense.” 28 U.S.C. § 2244(b)(2)(B) (2006). He, therefore, cannot file a successive petition.
In re Davis, 565 F.3d at 824.
Davis subsequently filed an original writ in the United States Supreme Court on May 19, 2009. On August 17, 2009, the United States Supreme Court transferred the case to the district court for that court to “receive testimony and make findings of fact as to whether evidence that could not have been obtained at the time of the trial establishes petitioner’s innocence.” In re Davis, ___ U.S. ___, 130 S.Ct. 1 (2009).
Following briefing and discovery, a federal evidentiary hearing was conducted in the United States District Court for the Southern District of Georgia, Savannah Division, on June 23-24, 2010. On August 24, 2010, the United States District Court entered an order denying Davis’s petition for a writ of habeas corpus. In denying relief, the district court held:
Ultimately, while Mr. Davis's new evidence casts some additional, minimal doubt on his conviction, it is largely smoke and mirrors. The vast majority of the evidence at trial remains intact, and the new evidence is largely not credible or lacking in probative value. After careful consideration, the Court finds that Mr. Davis has failed to make a showing of actual innocence that would entitle him to habeas relief in federal court.
In re: Davis, Case No. CV409-130.
Thereafter, Davis filed a petition for writ of certiorari in the United States Supreme Court on January 21, 2011, which was denied on March 28, 2011.


[1]References to the transcript of Davis’ trial will be referred to as “T”, followed by the appropriate page number of the trial transcript.
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