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ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!! WE HAVE MOVED.... New Web Address is www.carolinawaresown.com





After YEARS OF CONTEMPLATION and research, I have finally decided to move the blog to 'dot.com' status. (Also at the behest of some of you who said I should have BEEN DONE THAT..)

I transported the files from this blog to there but the files are STILL HERE. IN TIME, I WILL TAKE THE REDIRECT OFF OF THIS BLOG and just let the files be visible here.

FOR NOW THOUGH, THE BLOG WILL BE RE-DIRECTED TO THE NEW SITE. I"m only making THIS POST for those who can view the post through a 'reader' and see it in it entirety.

Thank you for your patience in advance and come on over and see the new site.

www.carolinawaresown.com
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(Audio/Music) @RAPSODYMUSIC – GENERATION FT. @MacMiller & @JAREDEVAN (PROD. @9THWONDERMUSIC































Everyone clamors for a joint album from certain folks...

I'd like to see a Mac Miller/Rapsody album...

Off of She Got Game..which will be hosted by DJ Drama....dropping August 20th 2013


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(Video) With my lil eye, I spy .... #VanillaSkyAffair X Presented by @NEWDY302




What I spy is my gal Yaina..some thick thighs...chocolate and Mango....... Among other things. Looks like a good time indeed.


More info on the party here..http://socialscenes.tv/vanillaskypromo/





Vanilla Sky {Delaware Children's Museum} Wilmington, DE from SocialScenes on Vimeo.
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(Music Video) @BobbyDimesOT of @OTRecords Presents X #UALREADY GANG shot by @Killavision


My boy Bobby outchea though. Dope melodic track gets the Killavision treatment.




I see you Bobby. Let 'em know.

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(Audio) @Rapsodymusic X @Wale X Dark Knights prod. by @Ejones_Music X #SheGotGame mixtape hosted by @DJDrama coming 8/20/13









It is good to hear Miss Evans ripping through things. One of my oldest daughter's favorite rappers (and I'm DEFINITELY NOT MAD ABOUT THAT.) is back with MMG's Wale.


















 Her next mixtape, as you read up in the tagline, will be hosted by DJ Drama.














Good things come in threes as this is the third STRAIGHT OFFERING by Wale lyrically that I've more than dug. I dare say that the Wale his 'Day One' fans have been clamoring for is 'back'. He ripped it.

Happy birthday to E.Jones, the producer on this track btw. What a birthday present. @ the release of that song. Not that it is his ONLY TRACK.. It isn't. Better do the research on this Soul Council representative. He has tracks for days.



In case your smartphone won't let you be great with Soundcloud....





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(Video) @BobbyDimesOT X @therealsap X I'm It REMIX... FT. @LeeMazin (#DreamChaser Records) prod. by @therealsap








Lee comes through with a clutch verse and fresh verses from Bobby and Sap makes this one that is definitely gonna get PERSONAL play in my own whip. Going straight to the zip drive for the car..







Clean version..






Dirty..




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(Music) @JustinTimberlake "Take Back The Night"




Don't forget, he said there were two parts to his album.. This appears to be a release from Part Two of 20/20... That is due out on September 10th...






























Sidenote: I would be REMISS if I didn't point out that what I am hearing is VERY SIMILAR TO MY FOLKS FROM THE FOREIGN EXCHANGE.. Not saying that he stole it... simply saying that if you folks LOVE THIS, there are DEFINITELY MORE FOLKS OUT HERE DOING THIS TYPE OF MUSIC. Well..... Go see for yourself...



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Samsung pays Apple $1 Billion sending 30 trucks full of 5 cent coins | News Hound






Epic Trolling from Samsung
This morning more than 30 trucks filled with 5-cent coins arrived at Apple’s headquarters in California. Initially, the security company that protects the facility said the trucks were in the wrong place, but minutes later, Tim Cook (Apple CEO) received a call from Samsung CEO explaining that they will pay $1 billion dollars for the fine recently ruled against the South Korean company in this way.



Petty? Yeah.. Would I do it?


ABSOLUTELY...LMAO


Pretty biased on this one 'cause had Steve Jobs done this, cats would be clapping and applauding...lol So......



Samsung pays Apple $1 Billion sending 30 trucks full of 5 cent coins | News Hound
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(Audio) @JcoleNC X @Wale X Winter Schemes

Jake One on the production though...


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(Music) @S_C_ X Dead Presidents 3 aka DP3 Produced by @Young_Guru



Man listen...










Just Blaze blessed us with the soundcloud..













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(Music) So this floated down my TL so I had to share: @MrPorter2012. #porterchopsglasper inspired by @robertglasper








































Download here




Pretty sure if you know your hip hop you know he was in D12.... he was known as Kon Artist....

Here's a sample of his production, in case you weren't aware..






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J. Cole, Wale and Mac Miller Return With New Albums - NYTimes.com

Interesting article. Obviously, I'm not gonna put the whole thing up here but here's enough to probably get you to see what I mean..Especially if you are from DE, where a certain platinum producer is from also..



On his second album, “Watching Movies With the Sound Off”(Rostrum), he’s threatening to become a great rapper himself, a startling turn of events. Mr. Miller reveals himself to be witty, self-depreciating, gauche and technically accomplished. His drug and sex raps are cut through with occasional bolts of emotional clarity: “I still don’t got the heart to pick my phone up when my dad calls/Will he recognize his son when he hears my voice?”
What’s more, there might not be a better sounding hip-hop album this year, as Mr. Miller extracts great, luscious beats that are 1990s-minded but modern, from producers like Clams Casino, Flying Lotus and others. (He also produced several songs himself.)
That said, he doesn’t have a “Power Trip” or a “Bad.” Hip-hop radio will not flock to him. This is at least in part because of his race — even though he’s a firm hip-hop classicist, he operates outside of the current boundaries of hip-hop radio.
But white privilege is the darnedest thing, full of backdoor opportunities for success. As successful as Mr. Miller’s album may be, almost certainly more people have lately heard him rapping on “The Way,” a breezy pop single by Ariana Grande, a Nickelodeon star making a foray into music. While Wale and Mr. Cole have catapulted themselves into territory they must now fight to stay in, Mr. Miller is free to avoid that fate, and instead embark on another stealth attack.



J. Cole, Wale and Mac Miller Return With New Albums - NYTimes.com
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(Music) Aaron "Ab" Abernathy aka @ABmusic X All This Love (Cover) ft. Phonte (@phontigallo)







































Ahh.. some more New Tigallo.. New Tigallo.. With AB.. Who is VERY TALENTED btw. Put his name in the search bar and find out..

http://aaronabernathy.com/

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(Music Video) @SlumVillage X Summer Breeze








Again.. summer is here and with it comes the arrival of good music. Or in this case, a dope visual.


Sidenote: It is ALWAYS funny to me how folks who don't 'listen' to Slum Village often think of them as 'squeaky' clean due to the audience they attract..lol Y'all are clearly not LISTENING to the music.. Or watching the visuals..

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(Music) @kevinmccall with 6 track EP X Sextape



































Just in time for the summer an offering from the Grammy Award winning artist...


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(Words) This first of 'Firsts' X Jane would have been 35 years old today X Happy Birthday






I'm not even gonna sit here and PRETEND that we had 'all out bashes' for her birthday. We didn't. IF she even took off work that day, she would maybe go lay out in the backyard, sleep in a little bit, go to the spa or something like that during the day..

WHAT WE DID DO was have cake made by her sister. If you know me in real life, then you KNOW ALL ABOUT MEL MEL and her 'Ace of Cake' (That's what I have dubbed them) type joints. We would, of course, EAT WHATEVER Jane wanted that day for dinner and IF she felt inclined to eat breakfast, I would COOK whatever she wanted....how she wanted and bring it to her.

Of course when Jane and I were 'younger', we would GO OUT and do what young adults do. Dance and party. She did that with her girls at some point around her birthday as well. That's pretty much it. Probably pretty typical stuff that most folks do on or around their birthday if they celebrate it...


.....now that I've gotten all of that out of the way for you folks who were privy to a sliver of our life and would be saying in the back of your head 'He's acting like they used to do.....XYZ' we can get down to the business of the post. Or rather I can.

I always used to tell her that while today (June 24th) was the day she was 'born' and it was 'her' day, I much rather prefer to spread the love and affection out over the course of the year. That's why I could 'step aside' if she wanted to go out with her friends for 'one night' or could take the 'kids' while she went out and did whatever made her feel special on her day. 'Cause I was going to show it the other 364.... 

That is what I am mourning today. The fact that I can't 'celebrate' another year with her on the face of the Earth for another 364. Of course, during that time, there are days when 'no celebrating' went on as we weren't 'perfect' so don't take the words 'literally' in that sense. Just take them to mean that if I felt like doing something special, I didn't wait until Christmas, Valentine's Day, HER BIRTHDAY to do it. I just did it. Whenever I felt like it. 

I can't do that now. The day is important to me..don't get me wrong.. it is. It is just that it drives home the point that she won't be around the days after.... The days that I liked to take to show her that she was pretty damm special. That's all... 

My kids, who are well...kids... DO RECOGNIZE these days with GREAT REVERENCE so I feel bad for them as they are still in the infantile stages of learning what is like to show someone they love them consistently. They take these days as the pinnacle of that love so for them not to be able to show their mother that love in the physical is no fun. 

This 'first time', even with the words I typed up top, is cumulative in that without THIS DAY, none of the other 'firsts' happen. Understand that I know that without it.... 

No birth, no wedding. 

No birth, no holidays. No kids. No BIRTHDAYS FOR THEM. 

No birth, no 'regular' days that I loved the most. 

So even within my love of the regular days that I shared with her, I will take the time to give this day its just due.* I will reflect, as many of you who knew her will, on different times and memories. 

I guess this is the time where I'm supposed to hit y'all with words 'cherish', 'tell folks you love 'em' and all of those other nice cliches. Something tells me that I won't have to wrap them up in a sentence for those of you reading this time... 

Very thankful that I played 'Paparazzi' Jane,  as you used to call me. Lotta memories captured. Thank you for allowing me to show you what I always 'saw' in you and for accepting it as my way of saying certain things. For accepting me for me. For allowing me to love you for you. We both learned that from each other. Thank you for that. 

Without you, I wouldn't know some other great folks too and together we share a LIFETIME of memories of you. 

Definitely left me with some blessings in regards to the kids. Thank you for helping from the start in raising all of three of them. Lots of sacrifices. You made me promise to make them 'better' than both of us and I will. Thank you for backing me in the creed of being 'their parents' FIRST and maybe....just maybe their friend a little later. That other promise you made me make in regards to the middle child in particular? Done. Actually, all the promises you made me make in regards to each one individually? Done as well. We spoke about letting one 'go' but staying in the wings and that has happened. The other one is RIGHT ON COURSE... I got you Juana. Thank you for giving her to me in the first place. :) Just wish you were here to enjoy her. She's everything we said she was gonna be when she came out of the womb.... 



Happy birthday Jane. Miss you. Love you. 



*And will do so for the other folks I've lost... 
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(Audio) @ChrisSkillz X Like What X produced by DA X #JustAnotherMorningPt2









































Chris is back with another one..

Just Another Morning Pt. 2 drops Saturday, June 29th, 2013 on Datpiff.com
















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(Audio) @Drake X @JColeNC X Jodeci Freestyle



Dope....

I think it is pretty dope he can still run a blogspot and release music from it like "Here y'all go..."

(Click on the post to see the soundcloud from the main page...)





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(Album/Music) Always nice to see things like this in my social network feed X @FEOFFICIAL X @Phontigallo & @Nicolaymusic are The Foreign Exchange - Love In Flying Colors. Fall 2013 on +FE Music.











Follow them on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/theforeignexchange or visit their website at http://www.theforeignexchangemusic.com/.




Tracklistings for them usually come out the month before so as soon as that happens, those will be up here and definitely on their various media outlets

. Rarely, and I MEAN RARELY, do Nic and Phonte announced things that aren't already FINISHED so I'm already counting 'this bucket' on the scoreboard. I don't forsee any delays. Maybe some additions but no delays. Truly can't wait to see where they are taking us next on this musical journey as Zo!'s ManMade has already provided the perfect backdrop for this Summer's music for me. They always come different with each project and have been known to do the unexpected.
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His name is Alejandro or Alex X 'Sesame Street' creates first Muppet to have a parent in jail - TODAY.com




I'll let you make you own inferences.. I will SAY THIS THOUGH. We want folks to be 'scared' of us. To fear..I mean 'respect' us and some of us use the 'jail' thing to do just that...

Happy now???? -_-


Here's another take on it.. Which, quite frankly, I can't be mad at either...





'Sesame Street' creates first Muppet to have a parent in jail - TODAY.com
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(Picture) @SerenaWilliams X Miami X Bikini X Part 32238937



Crazy thing is, we won't get tired of seeing her. I know I won't..



She just made me want to workout... on my day of rest from working out.. Good lord that woman is fit.



























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(Words) My role didn't 'change' it just finally got noticed X Father's Day thoughts from me.. X Wingman X Call Sign is "Goose"




































This might be one of those posts that some of you will be able to do is nod your head. I probably gonna be cryptic (surprise...surprise!) but I have to say what I have to say. Pretty much the only way I feel comfortable doing it is this medium. You can always not click on these you know.. @ the posts..

June 17 2013..... Almost seven months now.... You know, as much as I want to stop counting the days... certain things just won't allow for it.


The 'firsts' keep piling up....Birthdays...holidays..Discussions... There have been revelations galore. Discoveries that well....quite frankly... make me wish I wasn't so damm 'intelligent'. Some that haven't though. Some bought comfort. Others bought a lil more to deal with. All were NEEDED THOUGH. The words 'Too smart for you own good' come to mind however...lol

The things that I have realized, discovered, come to grips with, whatever you wanna call them are the very things that make one make cruel jokes when bad things happen to others, make one shudder in fear that they too may once have to face such adversity and has made many folks just flat out LIE, retreat, or disappear when it is time to put up or shut up.

I see why now some of you sit back in admiration. I've watched some of you go through some of them on a smaller scale and RUN. Retreat. Fall back. Lose your nerve. Do nothing. Say nothing. Let it lie. Lay down..

I'M MADE OF NONE OF THAT SHIT THOUGH. @ what this situation would make most of you do. Bad as I think it could get. As bad as things REALLY ARE. I'm not made like that. Oh, to some of you I wasn't 'built like that' due to the fact that I have not 'fought for the trivial bullshit reasons that some of you have gone out for. I hear it in your voice. You know that not to be true NOW. It's a fucking shame I had to lose a wife for you to see it though. I've ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY. Never wavered. Always did things when they needed to be done. Now here you come, late to the party..like usual.... Just now realizing it might just a be a bit bigger than you thought...


That 'respect' you give me for dealing with my 'situation' and all lets me know that. It's just different now. Your eyes tell me you 'wanna tell me something' but your heart knows that at this point, I could probably give a fuck less about whatever trivial shit you have for me and that I've probably processed it WELL BEYOND ANY REALM you could think of. Even if this were a movie, it would be too 'real' for the lot of you. Your words reflect that. My bluntness, my curt responses, unwavering real answers to questions show you that....

Yesterday was a celebration of Fatherhood and I am very happy for those that received the accolades that they deserved. 'Preciate the well wishes from many of you as well. I have to say this though..Been wanting to just flat out say it for YEARS... 'Cause I feel like it needs to be said... I'm no Johnny Come Lately outchea...


I've never NOT BEEN THEIR FATHER. I've never NOT been their first and last line of defense. EVER. In their Life.....


So as I sit here this morning on Monday June, 17th, with this 6 year old in the same place she has always made her way to at some point EVERY MORNING, into the same spot that ALL OF MY CHILDREN EVENTUALLY FOUND THEIR WAY TO IN THE AM, know that. I know some of you 'know' though. You've seen it. I just hope you don't 'forget' or 'misremember' history in light of new events. I feel like some of you have forgotten though. Or maybe you just never 'knew'.. 

So I'm telling you.  Not 'cause something happened either... You see, I have enough 'emotion', pain, and turmoil that shit that happened weeks or months ago can bubble up from time to time. So I don't need much 'motivation' to write about it. I kinda live it... Every once in awhile, the volcano erupts and this time I'm not really about that 'Caring about who is in harms way' of the lava Life. Many of you have waited for this day.. Here it is. Enjoy it. Don't be too surprised if you catch a stray though... 

Your interactions, brief, long, or whatever with all parties involved in my situation (or the main party) that have shaped what you 'thought you knew', only gave you a peek. A small look into the Life. 

I wanted it that way. Trust me. I walked away from more 'problems'. Over the YEARS, I've heard 'what you said'. How you felt.

I knew you were taking my Fatherhood for granted. Like it was an entitlement. Like my lessons that were on public display were for you enjoyment. Your revenge for others who have scorned others. My punishment if you will... lol 

I knew a lot of you 'lived' through me and thought 'One day, I'm gonna get my shit together and be a Father to my kid..Like that man is showing my kid RIGHT NOW..." 

"One day my brother (my baby daddy/my husband/sperm donor/etc) may be the Father he is..." I know. I saw it. 

"It's probably just her.. It can't be him..Good genes...Probably...Look at him, never did like that nigga...Damm it might be him.. Well if it is then it because of her..." @ how some of you felt/feel.. 






I turned 'away' from a lot of shit 'cause THEE MOST IMPORTANT THING WALKING AROUND ON THIS EARTH ARE MY KIDS TO ME. I did things I KNOW I didn't have to do for the sake of peace. I walked away when I knew I was RIGHT 'cause I knew how much.... yeah... I adjusted. I made alternative plans for folks 'ways' 'cause I KNEW they weren't thinking shit through... I've been 'on fire' with anger and STILL DID THE RIGHT THING 'cause well..it was the RIGHT THING TO DO. 

No apologies. 

No 'Damm that was fucked up what I did... I'm sorry'... nothing received. Nothing but a 'Oh that's 'cause he is a good father/man..' so let me continue to shit where I eat..

There isn't much I haven't done in the way of 'sacrifice' for ANY OF MY CHILDREN. I could have been MADE THIS ABOUT ME and well..frankly been 'right'. 

It's never been about me for very long man..I might get a day here or there. Nothing long term though. I've always made sure everybody else around was 'comfortable' as they could be in the situation even while I was getting my proverbial head stepped on. Everybody else got to do 'what they needed to do..'. Not me though. I KNEW I'D GET MY TURN. Didn't know 'how' though. Wish it wasn't like this... but alas, it is. 

Oh that's my own fault that I had to wait? That things 'turned out' how they did? Oh you don't care? See, that's the shit I'm talking about. Now though, when I pull a you on YOU I'm wrong... Oh... @ not really giving a fuck. 

I hear folks speaking of either them or other folks in the situations, 'putting up with this' or tolerating that' or 'sacrificing that' and it seems that some of you think that is only specific to a 'gender' or to a particular 'circumstance'. Newsflash. 

It isn't. 

Double duty.. DOUBLE TIME.... For more than one person. Funny how that seems to be 'forgotten'. Funny how some of you never noticed either. I mean who did you think had and DID FOR the children while all those hours got worked? Double shifts and whatnot.. 70 hour weeks... weekends too.. While all that 'playing' and 'memories of good times were being etched out? All that out of town going? All that school going and education pursuing that took place? 

Multiple folks could take jobs WHEREVER THEY WANTED. Didn't have to worry about anything but going to work. Do with their vacation pretty much as they saw fit, if they even wanted to take it. With no worry about who had 'the children'. 'cause...yup...you guessed it.. 

Work an overnight shift? Change of hours? Hey..I can do that. No problem. 

Fly out to Chicago? No problem. Go away to workshop....Yup no problem.

Oh there's an issue at work... go solve it. 

This isn't a movie man. My kids didn't just disappear via the production's pen because we could skip that chapter. This isn't the 'Soaps' where one day Sarah is 2 years old and next Tuesday she is 21 and on a arts school scholarship... Somebody had to handle that business. 




While working his OWN 40 hour week job 50% of the time.... Using his vacation and sick time PRETTY MUCH FOR CHILDREN and not trips to who knows where.... or when he was actually sick.. Field trips... sick days... "I forgot this...".... "It is such and such Parent day...".... Oh the job is getting in the way? Fine. Got that up outta here too. I LOVE MONEY like everyone else but eh... Did the math... 

Haven't figured out who the person who might have made these sacrifices could be yet???

Let me help you out...just in case you get any bright ideas... My Momma (and Daddy when he was alive) lives 500 miles away... so that's a no. Other Maternal grandmothers and grandfathers deceased. Paternal grandmothers and grandfathers deceased all three ways... Not an option. Never WAS an option. So that leaves...

Me. Started out that way. No dropping kids off to in-laws on the regular. I did it. As it SHOULD be but as we ALL KNOW IT ISN'T FOR EVERYONE so lets not act like it is.. *

I digress though.. I didn't think I'd ever have to come out and SAY IT. Clearly, I have to though so....

I'm saying it. For me. Somebody has to speak FOR ME and I've reached the point that I'm gonna do it. Feelings BE DAMMED. Fuck your feelings. 


I've done MORE IN 15 years THAN MOST FOLKS DO IN 30 years. If I walked away RIGHT NOW, I'd be good. I'm not gonna do that but lets be clear that I know my worth out here. Okay? Good... 


I'm still here.. 

This post is probably gonna come off as a 'I did it all' post. Naw. Not at all. Clearly OTHER FOLKS DID THINGS IN THE RAISING OF THESE CHILDREN. If that isn't clear to you let me make it clear. They did. 

What the post is about is what my role ALWAYS WAS. I clearly don't owe any of you 'an explanation' but since some of you feel the need to voice your displeasure to me or about my actions.....it  should be noted that my 'role' didn't just become that on or around November 19th 2012. It has always been that. Maybe 'you' didn't know it cause well... YOU WEREN'T AROUND and in some cases, despite 'who you are' you didn't 'need' to know 'cause the show never stopped due to your absence. 

Maybe she didn't tell you. Maybe you didn't listen. Maybe you didn't pay attention...Maybe she didn't make it seem that way. Maybe she didn't know how to 'disappoint' you by letting you know that it wasn't all just her due to the things 'expected' of her (that weren't expected of any of her peers..family..business or otherwise..)  Maybe you were wrong about me PERIOD. Maybe you were wrong ABOUT HER.**  Maybe you didn't know what you were talking about.. Maybe you'll never admit that though... 

Just maybe....

It is why she felt 'comfortable' enough to leave. She KNEW it would be okay. She KNEW what I was doing prior to that day would not only continue but that I could do what she was doing too. The latter took a bit for her to grasp but yeah... I wish she hadn't done it. I wish a lot things though. None of which can undo what is the reality.

I'm still here. 

It is why I don't feel bad now that there are just three of us here. Oh there's still four of us but.... I know what I've been doing the past 15 years. I got the war wounds to prove it. I know what I'll be doing 'till God sees fit for me not to be here anymore. Intention may not be to 'stop me' from doing so but there are no 'favors' being done here for me either. Lets not kid ourselves shall we? 

Information designed to hurt or maim, idle threats of what somebody 'could have done via court', 'you knowing me and my pain' or any of that other mess..... = putting folks in places they have never been in on my relationship ladder. The Youngbloodz and Lil Jon said it best.. I think you know the song... 

You don't give a damm then I don't give a... 


Not what you imagined would be going through my head on Father's Day is it? Well, now imagine putting together with EVERY DAY and the challenges each one of those bring..... 


How ironic that I am writing this today not just for me though. Oh don't get it twisted, I didn't 'make anything up'. I just so happen to know someone who has lost their spouse too. Who is also a gifted a writer. Who probably has wanted to type all of the words AND MORE that I just typed.... 

In the irony of all ironies.. she lived in the neighborhood I JUST MOVED TO. She had to move her children too. Another weird twist. Her mother is my doctor's secretary.  My doctor wouldn't be my doctor if it wasn't for Melissa as he was HER DOCTOR. 

I can't make this up.... I'm writing for her today too. 

The loss of her husband was in the same manner as mine so she has all the rage, the anger, the 'new found advice columnist' in her Life. The burden of taking care of her children ALONE. Many similarities. I hope that you are reading this and that you FINALLY get to writing. I know you have threatened to and I can't make you but I think you would feel better. I really do. It is your release. So go on ahead bring yourself pleasure... One day, I suspect you will write with the 'rage and anger' that I cannot do here in regards to 'her'. One day, you will write for me as I've done for you today. I will be grateful that day too for the words form but the posts never get published. Understand that she hears me like he hears you though but sometimes....it just has to come out. 



So you see, while you think I'm being 'selfish' over here, I'm really doing what I've always done. Helping people. Sure I've done plenty of 'bad'. I know I've also done plenty of good and it seems like for all the good I do, folks still seem to want to shit...never mind. You get the point. Yet I continue. I'm writing for me yes... 

I'm also writing for others. For those that 'do..do.. do ...and do so more' but due to the fact that others have family ties and allegiances, they get no credit. Due to the fact that others can't see things for what they are cause they have their head stuck so far up their own asses while swinging from the tree of "I only care about me and mine", somebody has to speak up. 

So it will be me. I'm speaking up. I know plenty who have done what I have done and they get the proverbial 'Plaque and a gold watch' dismissive wave. Meanwhile, some of you wouldn't be WHERE YOU ARE WITHOUT THEM. Whether you like it or not, they had an impact on YOUR LIFE and you are in a better position to succeed BECAUSE OF THEM. We can get 'hypothetical' but the bottom line is that THEY DID HELP YOU. I've helped you.  Respect it. 

But I'm the one who has changed though.....-_-


I'm gonna make sure my kids are okay and then I'm eventually going to get all the way off of the ground from the things that the last 16 years or so have taught me. When I do, lots of things will be left behind. Lots of feelings will be vaulted up and put into their proper perspective. Demons exercised. Less ghosts to chase. Forgiveness of self. Kids grown.. Parting of ways. Good, bad and indifferent. 

You will say I've changed. 

I will tell you....








































If you have it like that, I'm really not knocking you.. I promise. It is a beautiful thing. Kids should know their grands. Spend time with them. The whole nine. I did. 

Understand though, they are YOUR CHILDREN so yeah... you should probably have them with YOU more than not..Some of you I know personally know the struggle that is your kid listening more to YOUR PARENT than they do to you. You gotta call YOUR MOMMA to get them to go to bed and act right 'cause YOU didn't have them like you were supposed to from the door. 

That's because you allowed your kid to view them as the 'ultimate discipline' in the situation so long that you now have to fight for that right.. Sure, my Dad wanted my kids but 'for what'? Why would I do that? He wasn't going to be around to raise 'em. I knew that. It was my responsibility. So I took it... Anyway.... You got it like that, be thankful and prepared to take the reins one day.. lol


** More than an handful of you have expressed that you were 'wrong about her'. You thought she was 'stronger' than that. Respect to you for saying it. Hopefully you will respect what I am about to say to you though.. 

What kinda fuck shit is that? You 'thought' she was stronger than that? C'mon. She took on her responsibilities which were HUGE, sometimes YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES and countless others and you wanna sit here and say that? 




I mean maybe she should have just chosen to delegate her responsibilities to the next person so that she could have been 'happier' huh? Just like you... Oh.. 

As I said up top though, if she had taken some of y'alls approach to Life, things would have never gotten done the way they were. 

I know..I know..you don't understand. Just say that then.. Not that other fuck shit though. Probably wanna keep that one to yourself.. 









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(Video) Inside "Magna Carta Holy Grail" with JAY Z + Samsung X BTS







Yup..

 Samsung Galaxy S3, S4, and Note 2 are the phones one can purchase the album on via a special app. That app will be up on June 24th. 

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(Music) @ScHoolBoyQ X @kendricklamar X #CollardGreens X Produced by @PRODUCEDBYTHC X @gwenbunn









I am gonna to close the 'musical gap' for some of my younger followers who probably were wondering 'Should I care who Gwen Bunn is?" @ my last post about The Foreign Exchange's Zo!

Does this song answer you question?? She co-produced this track. Pay attention kiddies.. The degrees in music and who does good work are a LOT SMALLER THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE.



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(Music Video) @FeOfficial's Own @Zo3hree5ive X New Video X Count To Five ft. @GwennBunn & @Phontigallo

























You know, I haven't said MUCH about Zo!'s album because.....



I was too busy enjoying it. lol Life is a lil hectic right now so I couldn't give it the attention that I normally would in print. That's coming though. In the meantime, There's this dope concept video that Kenneth Price shot.

Congratulations to Zo! for charting so HIGH by the way. I love when folks I know do well. Here's a look at the liner notes courtesy of Zo! as well

http://zo3hree5ive.com/2013/06/10/zo-manmade-2013-full-album-credits/

Enjoy the video.. I feel like I am 8 years old again watching it.


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(Video) Looks like the 'gamer' has some rights left out here X @Playstation




Is it me or did they basically just go the TOTAL OPPOSITE WAY of Microsoft on this one? Interesting. Ability to trade your games... use them as you see fit......


Now look, I'm not here to 'argue' with folks over which system is 'better' 'cause quite frankly that is a personal choice. I actually have both systems in my house. (If you must know, I play the PS3 FAR MORE but eh..I do play the X-Box so...) Much like a the 'smartphone' wars, it is all about preferences, familiarity and of course 'what you want to be able to brag about'...lol


This video DOES dispel some of the speculation about the PS4.

As far are 'price' goes..... Again, I'm not gonna get too upset about it as I've been buying these systems FOREVER it seems. If I want it (either one), I'm gonna buy it. Period. If I think the price is too high, I won't have it. It is pretty simple. At least for me....So no complaints here. It is my money and I'll either spend it or I won't.


Here's the video though..


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(Words) "I'm just tired....."





I was watching the Dr. J documentary tonight, GREAT DOCUMENTARY BY THE WAY, and he was speaking on his brother's death....


He got to the hospital just in time to hear him utter those words...


I almost had to cut the TV off. I made it through the first showing of the documentary okay though 'cause I REALLY WANTED TO SEE IT. 

The second showing though.....


As soon as he said it, I had to turn it off. (Luckily, I recorded it...)


Now as a child, I had 'heard' about folks saying that. I even remember my Nan Momma standing up in church, telling her Pastor that it would be her last Sunday in church.....


"I'm tired and I feel like the Lord is ready to take me to be with my husband...I'm ready. So I'd like to thank y'all and tell you that I love you.."- My Nan Mama to her congregation. 

Those three words are something that I got used to 'hearing' over the last 14 years. At FIRST, I thought it was physical fatigue as the person uttering those words worked 2 jobs, PLAYED JUST AS HARD AS SHE WORKED and had a child/raised another one with me. I found out pretty quickly that it wasn't that. 

She was essentially telling me that she was ready to ..... She was prepping for the day that she could no longer......

The look on Julius's face as he recounted the story of his brother....the realization, even after ALL OF THESE YEARS.....that he was being told that. To have to come to grips with that as it BECAME REALITY... I felt his pain. I remember the day that I realized not only what she was saying but that she was serious about this. 

I know that pain. 

I know I'm not alone in knowing that pain but we aren't talking about that now are we? We are here on MY BLOG so yeah.. we are probably gonna talk about how 'EYE' feel. 

That tiredness. No one can seem to understand it. 

I can.... 

...I can also understand how you can feel that way and how it feels to dig DEEP....DEEP....DEEP WITHIN YOURSELF to keep going. Long after ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE QUIT. Long after the 'I don't know how you are doing it..' type attitudes would have really permeated things. 

The 'tiredness' doesn't come when you think it normally would. Those 'big days'. Naw.. There is pain on those 'big days' but NOTHING LIKE THE DULLING PAIN THAT DAY TO DAY ACTIVITIES BRING. 

Nothing like the sting of not having THAT someone to talk to while the rain pours down on your house long after the kids have gone to sleep. Not that the conversations were marathon sessions either. Sometimes they were as brief as a head nod, a smile....a gentle brushing away of a wisp of unruly hair. A palm of the head. Or just the simple act of sitting next to that person in silence...enjoying the silence together. 

Not that folks don't 'fill voids' or provide some support. They do. It is just that when the person you have been used to having around when you'get tired' is no longer around........it is tough. You don't wanna lean too hard on anyone else 'cause what if they 'get tired too'? What if they don't 'understand' like they claim they do? Especially when you are mourning the loss of 'that' someone. You can't get 'mad' when they don't get it no more than they can't get mad at you when you can't 'make them get it'. 

This fight.... man this fight.....IT IS A TOUGH FIGHT. So many different angles. So many different things to worry about. 

Sometimes I take solace in knowing that there are other folks have had to sit by helpless to their loved ones plight. Their fate. Knowing it wasn't going to end well and that whatever the circumstances were....that they would have to live with the pain and suffering for the rest of their own natural lives.


I saw that pain that the Angel of Death can bring in Dr.J's eyes. 

It is the same pain I have in mine.... the same one that is in my children's eyes. Good times wash over our faces and they are truly good times. Temporarily covering the pain... 

They mask the 'I'm just tired' in our faces though. Sometimes, I have to put them (the kids) all on my 'back' figuratively and literally.I just don't know if I can trust anyone else enough....






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(Video) @ochocinco given 30 days for smacking his attorney on the backside X Wow




She tried to make an example of that man. -__-. That's terrible.




  Chad Johnson -- Ripped By Judge for Slapping Lawyer's Ass
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Black Women Are Spending Too Much Time and Effort Going to School, They Should Be Spending That Time Trying to Get Married | Beyond Black & White


I want to give ole girl the benefit of the doubt and say I can 'see' what she is saying...... But then there was this..

"We know that black women are not dropping out of college in order to get married because black women also have the lowest female marriage rate. Black women are not getting husbands, so instead they are attempting to get a college degree.
I think that, in lieu of finding a husband who can share the burden of raising children, supporting a household, and paying off student loan debt, black women are instead choosing to get a college degree that they hope will provide the financial benefits which a husband usually provides–and the results are not working out the way that these women hoped."


I mean I would be okay with this if I didn't see folks, men in particular...well SOME BLACK MEN IN PARTICULAR, stating they have no intentions of getting married anyway. Or that they don't believe in it as an institution.. Maybe if I didn't see some folks saying these things, I would be able to 'believe' what I quoted up top. 
I do though. All the time. I'd hate to have to tell my OWN DAUGHTERS to 'wait around for some cat to run through his share of girls so that they get 'chose' after 'Their shining knight' is done 'having fun' with the other girls who are waiting on him TOO! -_- 

Yeah... I'm REALLY GONNA TELL MY LIL GIRLS THAT CROCK OF BULLSHIT. 

Unbelievable.. 



Black Women Are Spending Too Much Time and Effort Going to School, They Should Be Spending That Time Trying to Get Married | Beyond Black & White
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(Video) Hope his 'pride' and credibility sustain him in jail X Florida Bouncers kills co-workers over a video posted on Facebook..




Wauw...


He was wrong. The flip to this is simple though. You don't know who will do what over what so the best thing is to not do things to people. Very sad situation.

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(Words) You carried her bag so that is your label from now on. The Story of A Former Bag Handler...

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