"And the Brother Said.." Vol. 1 Phonte Coleman

Peep the rest of it here:

Here is how it starts out though...

"What is your take on this whole “Black people ain’t getting married/Michele and Barack and Jay and Bey are the only Black people who love each other” conversation going on?

I think its bullshit. I think people who make those kind of statements are really telling on themselves in terms of what their standards for Black love and status are. Michele and Barack and Jay and Bey are celebrities and don’t really represent the average person. There’s plenty of married Black people around, they’re just not in your face all day and they’re not living a lifestyle that most people aspire to. Everybody knows about Will and Jada, but what about Willie and Lula Mae Johnson that’s been together for 30 years and shit? What about the assistant manager at your job and her husband that’s been together for 10 years with two kids and shit? There’s plenty of married Black people around, its just not the fairy tale portrait of marriage that people are looking for. I view it much in the same way I view the supposed ‘Good Black Man shortage.’ It ain’t no ‘Good Black Man shortage;’ Black women just want the same 12 dudes.

What’s the best relationship advice someone has ever given you?

One jewel that sticks out to me is that marriage is just sharing a life with somebody; nothing more, nothing less. So with that said, most people in life have their good days, bad days, and halfway days (c) D’Angelo. That’s just how it goes. The big misconception is that marriage is this magic wand that automatically makes everything bigger, brighter, and happier and that’s just not the case. No matter if you’re single or married, life is still gonna be life. You’re still gonna have your good days, bad days, and halfway days, and as a married person or someone in a relationship, that just means that you’re sharing all of that. Life ain’t a fairy tale, so why do we expect relationships to be?

What is your favorite thing about Black women? Your least favorite thing?

As Black Americans, there are certain universal customs, rituals, and practices we share that are just fuck*n beautiful. For the sake of brevity, I will simply refer to these customs and rituals as ‘N*gga Sh*t.’ There ain’t nothin like a Black woman to share N*gga Sh*t with, and that’s my favorite thing about Black women. There’s no other race that ‘gets’ Black men and Black life on a basic level, I think. The ‘Lectric Slide, Texas Pete hot sauce on your collards, a Frankie Beverly and Maze show, spending 6 hours at the beauty parlor on a Saturday; I don’t think no other type of woman could fully understand N*gga Sh*t and just how much it means to us.

As for my least favorite thing about Black women, I would say its their overall lack of accountability for their actions. For instance, you can turn on the TV, pick up any magazine, or go to any website and find articles about the failure of Black men and how we ain’t doin this or not doing that. But nobody wants to address Black women’s f-ck ups, ESPECIALLY Black women…lol. And one big flaw I see in Black women is how quick they are to tell their men that they don’t need them, and how dismissive they can be. But its total bullsh*t, and no one calls em on it. You can’t scream, “I’m an independent woman!” in one breath, but then when little MarQuavius turns 15 and shoots up the whole fuck*n block its, “THESE KIDS NEED DEY DEDDY!!” The fact is, we need each other. And I wish Black women would understand that there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need a man. And there’s nothing ‘weak’ about being sweet and nurturing to a good man who deserves it.

Is marriage a thing of the past or just a broken institution that can be fixed?

I really think that we are the last generation that is gonna hold marriage in high regard. I don’t think people view it as a necessity anymore. I mean, hell, I’m married and me and my wife both agree that if we don’t work out, we ain’t never doin this retarded ass sh*t again….lol. "